The Art of Disagreeing (Gavin Ortlund)

It is no secret that Americans today are terrible at disagreeing. In this short book, Pastor Gavin Ortlund provides principles on how to navigate this touchy topic. Select points follow.

We must remember "that disagreement itself is not the problem," for it "is where we discover opportunities for learning, freshness, new beginnings." It can be "both enjoyable and productive" when done well. But in today's world . . . that seldom happens.

Disagreement can be hard. We may view them "as a kind of threat to our broader identity." There are two basic ways people handle such tense situations—some are "rhinos" (prone to being aggressive) and others "hedgehogs" (prone to being defensive or silent). Both postures have their challenges and temptations to sin in one way or another. But how we treat each other matters greatly, so there is opportunity here to show the world how following Jesus can result in healthy and productive disagreement.

Ortlund's basic outline covers two virtues (kindness and courage), two tools (listening and persuasion), and a final exhortation.

Kindness is powerful; "it helps us not only to like each other more but to understand each other better." So pray for them and their blessedness, show them respect, don't speak ill of them, and strive to encourage and genuinely like them. Bible verses on kindness include Galatians 5:22, Titus 3:2, Colossians 4:6, and 1 Peter 3:15. We are to be kind even to those who revile us (James 2:23). But note: kindness doesn't mean rolling over; there can be times when difficult steps are needed to protect you and yours (see Titus 3:10-11 and Matthew 5:11-12). Helpful questions to determine when you may  need to withdraw:

• "Does this person's behavior suggest that engaging with them has a realistic chance of being productive?
• Is addressing a disagreement likely to create further harm?
• Do I have any formal obligations that require me to resolve this difference, or can it be left unresolved without negligence?
• Could a season of waiting or reflection be beneficial before working through a particular disagreement?"

Courage is also needed. "We need to balance kindness (commitment to the person) with courage (commitment to the truth)." We must be willing to stand firm and say difficult words when called for. Though "not every issue is a hill to die on" (we should seek to live "peacably amid our differences on smaller matters"), there are times that "God has battles for you to fight." 

• Courage is vulnerable, potentially leading "you to decisions and actions that don't merit any applause." You may be called to enter a fight knowing "you will probably lose." But, where it makes sense, we must stand for truth regardless of outcome or consequence. 
• Courage is also beautiful. "There is also a kind of freedom and joy in it . . . because it lifts us away from self-concern."

When considering if we should engage (vs. keeping silent), consider if the disagreement is 1) "important to the cause of the gospel" and 2) "likely to be productive?" It is about what is right, edifying, and useful.

Listening is the receptive part of dialogue and "is one of the indelible marks of wisdom." (Consider Proverbs 12:15, 13:1, and 15:32.) It "takes energy. It's an active, responsive discipline" and "requires a posture of openness: a willingness to be maneuvered by the information we are receiving." (See James 3:17) Feeling heard is critical in effective disagreement; one way to work on this "is to cultivate a sincer curiosity about other perspectives."

Some listening strategies: take your time and be patient (James 1:19), ask clarifying questions, pay attention to details (like nonverbal cues), give them the benefit of the doubt, and consider the possibility that the other is speaking out of trauma (deep pain or suffering).

If things broil over into conflict, pray for a heart of mercy (Ephesians 4:32), keep watch on yourself (Galatians 6:1), don't take it personally (be secure in Christ's love for you), hope for the other's renewal (and pray for their progress in the faith), and pray the Lord would show you your sin in the conflict.

Persuasion is the proactive part of dialogue. It seeks to move and influence others. This can be viewed as a negative trait in today's society, yet where "the truth is done rightly, persuasion is an act of love," remembering that "God has given you unique insights and experiences, and if you don't share them, you may be depriving others around you of what God wants to teach them through you." It is biblical (Proverbs 16:23).

Ortlund provides eight strategies to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15): build trust, use tactful speech, help them save face, balance criticism with praise, calmly identify disagreements, use arguments, reiterate your goals, and appeal to sympathies already held. But remember: "we must be willing to consider that at times we might need to be persuaded to change ourselves!"

In the final exhortation, remember Jesus' words in John 13:34-35: all people will know we are His disciples if we have love for one another. "The world's perception of Jesus is affected by how Christians treat one another." So in our disagreements, we must lay down desires ("to come out on top, to win, to look good") and agendas (for "our own reputation or ego or selfish desires"). Instead, we are to honor truth, please Christ, and build up each other.

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This book is concise and basic yet profound and helpful, well worth an afternoon read. 

Rating: A

Daredevil Visionaries: (Kevin Smith)

A teenager shows up with a child, claiming immaculate conception and the second coming of Christ. Matt Murdock (aka Daredevil) assumes she is crazy—until she is chased by a mysterious and sinister group claiming the child heralds the end of days. The ensuing chaos finds Matt questioning his faith and the way forward. Who is this child . . . and who is he? 

Written in the late '90s by Kevin Smith, I enjoyed this tale of the man without fear. The art was done well, the story was okay (if unsatisfying in places, it made up for it with shocking developments in others), and the messages were mixed but largely good. I think this helped the Daredevil character gain in popularity . . . for that, I am grateful.

Rating: B

How Should We Then Live? (Francis A. Schaeffer)

In the classic How Should We Then Live?, Francis Schaeffer studies the rise and fall of Western thought. Seeking to understand today’s world, he traces three lines in history: the philosophic, the scientific, and the religious. Highlights follow.
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“People have presuppositions, and they will live more consistently on the basis of these presuppositions than they themselves may realize.” “Presuppositions rest upon that which a person considers to be the truth of what exists. People’s presuppositions lay a grid for all they bring forth into the external world. Their presuppositions also provide the basis for their values and therefore the basis for their decisions.”

What are the presuppositions, broadly, throughout history?

“The Greeks and later the Romans also tried to build society upon their gods. But these gods were not big enough because they were finite, limited.” “The gods were amplified humanity, not divinity.” Later they looked to the emperors as divine. But this failed and Christianity (which became the state religion in 381 AD) rose.

A Christian’s “strength rested on God’s being an infinite-personal God and his speaking in . . ." the Bible. “Thus the Christians not only had knowledge about the universe and mankind that people cannot find out by themselves, but they had absolute, universal values by which to live and by which to judge the society and the political state in which they lived. And they had grounds for the basic dignity and value of the individual as unique in being made in the image of God.”

In the Middle Ages, the church drifted from Biblical foundations and introduced humanistic concepts, with “man taking to himself that which belonged to God.” “Soon European thought would be divided into two lines, both of which have come down and influence our own day: first, the humanistic elements of the Renaissance, and second, the Bible-based teaching of the Reformation.”

In the Renaissance, “Philosophy was gradually separated from revelation—from the Bible—and philosophers began to act in an increasingly independent, autonomous manner.” “Renaissance humanism steadily evolved toward modern humanism—a value system rooted in the belief that man is his own measure, that man is autonomous, totally independent.” And “with this came an increasing loss of anything which gave meaning, either to the individual things in the world or to man.”

Counter this to the Reformation, who believed that man was fallen and thus “people could not begin only from themselves . .” We need God. And the Reformation was “centered in the infinite-personal God who had spoken in the Bible.” “The Bible gives a unity to the universal and the particulars.”

In the Enlightenment, humanism came to the fore (though some Reformation-based worldviews undergirded society). In this age, the focus was on “reason, nature, happiness, progress, and liberty.” And everything started breaking down; the drive to find a way to meaning and values through pure reason ended in despair. A split started emerging between meaning/values and measurable things. Man alone cannot bring the two together, so modern man is a dichotomy:
- Reason: man is a machine and meaningless.
- Non-reason: optimism about meaning and values (totally separate from reason). This is existential methodology.

“Many types of things can be put in the area of non-reason. And it really does not matter what one chooses to put there, because reason gives no basis for a choice.” Thus, it's all about feelings, experiences, and everything is relative. Hence our postmodern society today.

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This was a good book, in a similar vein to Glenn Sunshine's Why You Think The Way You Do. Here the focus was not only on the strands of thought but also art and how worldview permeats through it (with lots of examples). The book's final chapters sounded a little alarmist (and dated; this was written before communism fell), but overall, this is a worthy read.

Rating: A-

The Atlas of Middle-Earth (Karen Wynn Fonstad)

The Atlas of Middle Earth is a semi-official reference for J.R.R. Tolkien's Middle-Earth. In it, Karen Wynn Fonstad provides a plethora of meticulously-researched and carefully-drawn maps in broad categories:

- The First Age

- The Second Age

- The Third Age

- Regional Maps

- The Hobbit (maps focused on the routes/journeys mentioned in that book)

- The Lord of the Rings (ditto, though here we also get maps of five key battles)

- Thematic Maps (looking at landforms, climate, vegetation, population, and languages of Middle-Earth)

The maps are in varying levels of detail and accompanied by explanatory text. Two examples follow.

Though intended more as a reference, I really enjoyed this work and read most of it. As a visual learner, I appreciated the maps of the pre-LOTR Ages (covered in The Silmarillion or other works). The author did her homework and has considerable artistic talent. She is honest about all the uncertainties—Tolkien's voluminous writings in this world occasionally clashed or omitted details—and does a good job handling those. I view this as 'semi-official' because it holds as true as possible to the Tolkien canon shares a publisher with him, yet I don't think this is officially blessed by the Tolkien estate. Whatever the case, this is a good volume for those who love both maps and Middle-Earth.

Rating: A

What does the Bible Teach About Transgenderism? (Strachan & Peacock)

In this short book, Professor Owen Strachan and Pastor Gavin Peacock walk through a hot-button topic: transgenderism. They cover Biblical passages related to gender and identity, Biblical manhood and womanhood, and the new identity and life Christians have in Christ.

This book is straightforward and a helpful starting point on the topic for those interested in what the Bible says. The introduction itself is especially helpful, looking at modern philosophy/worldview with its emphasis on feelings and assumption that the human heart is good. As the Bible teaches otherwise, they start there before moving on to the title topic. There, the Biblical passages analyzed are primarily Genesis 1:26-28, Genesis 3, Deuteronomy 22:5, Matthew 19:3-6, and 1 Corinthians 11:3, 7-15. Stepping back from that, they then turn their attention to passages on Biblical manhoon and womanhood, concluding with a new identity we have.

While it make lots of good points, I felt the book strayed a bit from the original purpose in covering other (though related) areas. And the concluding FAQ was a bit hollow and didn't cover some of the more common questions Christians have.

Rating: B

Unmatched Adventures: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Today's review is of the 2025 release, Unmatched Adventures: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. For 1-4 players, it takes 20-40 minutes.

Overview

In this cooperative game, you and your friends are each a TMNT character with respective sidekicks, battling against the evil Shredder or Krang. Do you collectively have what it takes to prevail?

To setup the game, choose your hero. Choose a bad guy. Choose bad guy sidekicks equal to the number of players. Take all corresponding tokens, life counters, and decks (shuffling appropriately). Place all on the map of your choosing. Draw five cards and play begins.

This game is in the Unmatched line, and follows much of the same rules; I covered those in the previous post. Simplistically, on your turn, you will perform two actions as discussed last time: maneuver (draw a card and move), scheme, or attack. Turns continue until the good guys win . . . or bad guys prevail.

What is unique about this version:

1) Turn order. This is randomly chosen each round by shuffling the initiative cards (two for the main bad guy, one for each bad guy sidekick, and one for each player hero). Each player is given a marker denoting "player 1" or "player 2," etc. So a round could look something like this (in a three-player game against Shredder and three sidekicks: Bebop/Rocksteady, Leatherhead, and Rat King): Leatherhead, Shredder ability, player 2, Bebop/Rocksteady, player 1, player 3, Shredder, Rat King.

2) The enemies. Since this is cooperative, the game has a system to simulate the enemies. Each has a custom deck; each card in that has both an attack and defense value (and may have special abilities). The value you use depends on whether the character is attacking or defending. After use, each card is placed in its respective discard pile and (eventually) shuffled back into the main enemy deck (once the card stating that is played).

my two-player game in progress

Review
As with the competitive Unmatched line, this game is easy to learn and hard to master. You must manage your turn actions, character placement/movement, and hand of cards, with meaningful decisions in each sphere. The decks of cards are asymmetric, leading to a new experience with each hero you try (and each unique matchup). The turn order system is well done (if occasionally maddening when it doesn't go your way). The challenge level is high; we have yet to win. But the game moves swiftly either way.

Being fully compatible with other Unmatched releases, you could use other characters to play in this adventure. (I'm tempted to see how Dracula fares against Shredder). 

Overall, I enjoyed the game, think it is well done, and recommend it.

Rating: A

Unmatched: Cobble & Fog

Today's review is of the 2020 release, Unmatched: Cobble & Fog. For 2-4 players, it takes 20-40 minutes.

Overview

You are a character of legend taking on another.* Reduce their health to zero first and you win!

Unmatched is a series of games with the same mechanics. In each, you set up the game by choosing a map. Then choose a hero, taking their corresponding minifigure, tokens (if any), health dial(s), and unique deck of 30 cards, shuffling them and drawing five. Your opponent does the same. You place your minifigures and token(s) on the map in the stated areas and play begins, with the youngest player starting. In Cobble & Fog, your hero choices are Invisible Man, Jekyl & Hyde, Dracula, or Sherlock Holmes.

Game board showing Dracula vs. Sherlock Holmes at start

On your turn, you take two actions (you  may choose the same more than once) of the three available:

Three additions to the turn explanation in the above image:

- your "fighters" are your hero and their sidekick(s), if any.

- all cards have a hero, sidekick, or "ANY" printed on them; they must be used in accordance with the printed options

- maneuver action: most cards have a BOOST value encircled on the right-hand side of the card; it is that number you can add to your fighter(s) move.

- attack action: if you choose to attack, your opponent can play a defense card (a purple versatile card or blue defense card) face down in response. Cards are turned face up simultaneously, with the higher value winning (defense wins ties), and damage done to the defender if the attack value > defense value. 

Turns continue until one player's hero is reduced to zero health.

Review

This game is easy to learn and hard to master. You must manage your turn actions, character placement/movement, and hand of cards, with meaningful decisions in each sphere. The decks of cards are asymmetric, leading to a new experience with each hero you try (and each unique matchup). The Unmatched series has seen many releases, and all are fully compatible with the others, expanding the possibilities. Overall, recommended.

Rating: A

*the game has a multiplayer mode, but I will describe the two-player version.