Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter

Having enjoyed the book immensely, I eagerly anticipated the movie Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter.  Did it meet expectations?  Sadly, no.

Let me back up and say, as a rule, that I don't need book adaptations to match the book exactly.  I understand the need to alter the story to fit the big screen.  That said, I was surprised by just how different the movie was from the book.  Many changes seemed absolutely needless.  Some changes to "ramp up the action" were understandable, but many others were not.  The action was good, and the casting was good, but overall I felt the movie was a shell of the book, which is sad, because the book was wonderful.  The typical experience holds true yet again- the book is better than the movie.  Would I have enjoyed this more had I watched the movie first?  I can't say- I suppose so- but if I were you, I'd devour the book and ignore the movie.

Rating: C

A Briefer History of Time (Stephen Hawking)

My British reading list contains three science selections, and I decided to finally tackle one.  Science interests me, but I find most texts in this area rather boring, so I wasn't looking forward to it.  I was pleasantly surprised.

A Briefer History of Time is a condensed and significantly revised version of Hawking's A Brief History of Time (published ~30 years ago).  The newer version is only slightly shorter, but updated to both appeal to a broader audience, and include major advances made in understanding in the past three decades.  It covers a range of topics, to include relativity, quantum physics, wormholes, time travel, and string theory.  It discusses each at an extremely high, non-technical level.  I'd be lying if I said I understood everything- but I did learn a bit from this.  It's a surprisingly fast read at ~150 pages, and an interesting "foundation" book if you're interested in these topics.  One surprising (to me) conclusion is that we have so many "holes" in our current theories- there are so many observations made that don't quite agree with our models.  There are lots of inexplicable things going on.  Will we ever understand them?  Will it matter if we do?  I don't know- but it's fun to think about.

One final comment here: the universe is a mighty weird place, yet amazingly beautiful.  The fact that life exists at all, or even inanimate things like the stars and planets, seems a miracle.  It's good to think about this as we learn more about some of the "guts" of our universe. 

Rating: B

A little bit of eloquence

Long have I bemoaned the degenerecy into which conversational English has fallen.  Where is the eloquence; where is the variety?  I yearn for the days of vibrant diatribe.  The English language has thousands of words at our disposal, yet we use so few.*  A poignant illustration of the problem: last year I overheard a colleague say "OMG."  Now, this colleague has a MBA, so it's reasonable to assume there's a level of education there, yet (apparently) this person thought it totally acceptable to "text" out loud.  Is that how far we've fallen?  Are we no longer capable of flowery discourse; of adroit elocution?  I could take the standard position and blame TV, video games, or Tennessee public schools, but I'm going to take the high road and blame Bruce.**

Literature, sadly, is no different.  Today's works don't hold a candle to the creative musings of the past.  Consider several examples taken from recent readings:

Boring: "Stop this nonsense."
Interesting: "Have done with this rhapsody of impertinence." - The Castle of Otranto (1764)

Boring: "He started snoring loudly."
Interesting: "He began, in truth, to sound a nasal bugle of no ordinary calibre." - The Private Memoirs and Confessions of a Justified Sinner (1824)

Boring: "His surname was Cruncher; his Christian name, Jerry."
Interesting: "His surname was Cruncher, and on the youthful occasion of his renouncing by proxy the works of darkness, in the easterly parish church of Houndsditch, he had received the added appellation of Jerry."- A Tale of Two Cities (1859)

See what I mean?  See?  We're so utterly lost in today's world.  What do we fear?  Why is it acceptable to say "sup" but somehow wrong to say "a very fine salutations to you, ho ho!"  It's as though pervasive use of multi-syllabic, interesting, and/or little-used words are counted as an unspoken detriment to our reputation.  Sheesh.  And they say we're getting better.  In 100 years we'll be grunting and pointing- if you don't believe me, listen in on two engineers talking some time.  The explosion of technology and communication methods has occurred, ironically, in conjunction with noticeable decrease in communication ability.  We now have more ways to talk, but fewer things to say- or, at least, fewer words to use during a typical verbal exchange.  Already I tire of my rant.  Peace out, fools.  Word up.

*probably- I'm too tired to research it.
**this one guy I work with.

Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter (Seth Grahame-Smith)

The danger of doing anything excessively is that it can dull the senses.  For example, living in Europe, I've become somewhat immune to the beauty of cathedrals, due to the number I've visited.  Their elegance doesn't diminish with each new trip- just my appreciation of it.  Variety is the spice of life, so even the most stunning object can become mundane when frequently visited.  Reading is no different- I've read a lot of books this year, and many good ones, but I've rarely been blown away, perhaps due to the frequency of my readings.  My latest selection, however, knocked my socks off, and I never saw it coming.

Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter is a highly unusual work.  Too fantastic to be historical fiction, yet too factual to be pure fiction, some have termed it "mashup" fiction.  It's basically a biography of Abraham Lincoln- his birth in Kentucky, formative years in Indiana and Illinois, presidency in later life- but with a serious twist: he hunts vampires.  Why?  Because his mother, sister, and others dear to him were killed by them.  Abe learns of vampires' existence by overhearing a conversation between his father and a vampire; he later learns that vampires exist in vast numbers all over the world, and that in America, there are essentially "good" and "bad" bloodsuckers.  One of the former befriends Abe, and teaches him the tricks of the vampire hunting trade, and informs him periodically of the location of the more notorious bad vamps.  Fueled by both passion over lost loved ones, and a desire for justice, Abe sets out to rid America of all of the monsters.  His avenging quests are inter-weaved with his true life story, so you end up learning a lot about him as you enjoy the obviously fantastic tale.

This work is of surprising quality- the 330 pages flew by.  It was vastly entertaining, and highly recommended.  A movie by the same name has been released; I have yet to view it, but it's now high on my list.     

Rating: A+

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance

One of my admittedly guilty pleasures is enjoying bad movies solely because they feature flaming skeletons.  Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance is one such movie.  Was there a good plot?  No!  Decent character development?  Absolutely not!  Horrible theology and cheesy dialogue?  Heck yes!  So, what was redeeming about this?  It has a flaming skeleton riding a motorcycle.

I enjoyed the first Ghost Rider movie more (though it suffered from much the same problems); it had a bit of back-story and development, at least.  This one was notably worse, though there were some nice colors and scenery.  Random trivia: this is "kind of" a reboot of the franchise, though it featured the same actor (Nicolas Cage) as the first movie.  Everyone else was different, to include filming style- this time around, it was a bit choppy.  This film was also darker and grittier. 

It'd fail over all, but the flaming skeleton gives this a:

Rating: C-

Ivanhoe (Sir Walter Scott)

Ivanhoe, by Sir Walter Scott, is a tale much loved.  It concerns Wilfred, a Saxon Knight returning from the Third Crusade, and his quest to claim his lands (taken by the Normans) and his love, the Lady Rowena, who is under the care of his father Cedric.  Prince John, with designs on the throne while Richard I is away on Crusade, factors heavily in the tale, as does the Lion Heart himself.  Robin Hood plays a large part, as does the evil Templar Knight Brian Bois-de-Guilbert, along with Isaac & Rebecca of York, Jews much disdained in Christian England.

I've read that Scott invented, or at least reinvented, the historical fiction genre, so his depictions are supposed to be reasonably accurate.  They have shortcomings, but aren't too bad.  It's interesting (in a sad way) to see how poorly Jews were treated by Christians in this era, and how Saxons viewed the conquering Normans in Medieval England.

I have very mixed feelings about this work.  The prose is excellent- more eloquent than modern times, without being as difficult as Dickens.  Scott begins each chapter with a poem pulled from different sources, which I loved, but sometimes gave away what would happen.  The plot is good.  The characters, too, were wonderful.  My favorites were Cedric's jester, Wamba, who displayed an unusual amount of wit for a 'fool,' and Friar Tuck, Robin Hood's friar.  A lot of good stuff was to be found here.  Still, that said, something was off here, and I had a hard time figuring out what.  I think, in the end, the plot was delivered in a way that failed to build suspense.  The identity of Robin Hood & King Richard are not immediately revealed to the reader, but it's pretty obvious, so it wasn't a shocker when you found out the truth.  Some fights were described in a very anti-climactic way, and Scott would "pull out" of the story, and say things like "let the reader understand, that what I'm about to elaborate is in every way conceivable as having happened in this period."  I felt as though I had trouble immersing myself in this world, being often "pulled out" and reminded that I'm reading a recollection.  So, this is a work I wanted to give an A, or even A+, but in light of these things, I'll have to settle for something a little lower.

In the end, Scott is a good author, and I hope to read more in the future.   And, as a final thought, here is my favorite poem that fronted one chapter:

The hottest horse will oft be cool,
The dullest will show fire;
The friar will often play the fool,
The fool will play the friar

So true!

Rating: A-

The Turn of the Screw (Henry James)

The Turn of the Screw is considered to be among the best ghost stories ever written.  It concerns a governess, charged with the care of two orphaned children in an old manor home, as their guardian (an Uncle) lives elsewhere.  The governess sees two ghosts on the premises, at various times, who she subsequently discovers are previous employees of said Uncle, both now deceased, who (it's implied) committed great acts of evil while in the house, perhaps even with the children the governess is hired to educate.  I'll say no more, for fear of spoiling the ending.

This work certainly succeeds in keeping the reader in suspense- I made the mistake of reading it late at night, and my wife's unexpected entrance into the room almost sent me through the roof.  It was haunting, disturbing, and, in the end, a bit mystifying- the conclusion left the reader in suspense.  Perhaps that was the point, though I would have preferred more closure.  The prose was, at times, difficult to read; save for that, the work is highly worthwhile- for those interested in the macabre.

Rating: A