Discipleship Men's Retreat

The St. Louis arch under construction. Image from here.

Several weeks ago, I attended my church's annual men's retreat. The speaker was Dr. Ronn Read from Man in the Mirror, who gave a series of excellent talks on discipleship. Below is a summary.

Talk 1: Vision

Why are you here? On this Earth, in this time, in this place? We all have a purpose; something we are working toward. What is yours, and on what vision is it based?

Vision is "a clear mental image of a preferred future." (George Barna) We'll call that "there." But a preferred future implies a non-preferred present ("here"). 

It is important for the Christian to examine ourselves to learn our "here" (spiritually, emotionally, physically, maritally, etc.), think about our "there," and think about what has to change (stopped or started) to get there. We represent the living God; our actions matter. Ultimately, we are to "re-dream the kingdom dream of Jesus," who came to give us life and that more abundantly (John 10:10b). 

We can use the St. Louis Arch as a visual to think on such matters. From our vision and beliefs (the left foundation of the arch), we build goals, systems, and structures. But we often forget about the foundation and enter into a status quo, doing the same things in the same way regardless of value or outcome. We don't build the full arch, but cut across it (see above picture) and can enter a downward trend (the right part of the arch) that includes nostalgia, questioning, polarization, apathy, and dropout. It is good to examine (or re-examine) our "here" and "there."

Talk 2: Evaluation (Diagnose the Need)

When Adam sinned (Genesis 3), God asked him a question: "where are you?" We must answer the same: in our lives, where are we in all areas? And sin impacts everything . . . (3 doubts from Satan: that God is, that God's word is true, and that God loves me). 

The questions we must ask ourselves:

• Where is God's kingdom not being lived?
• Where is His will not being done? [and what is His will?]
• Where are we losing? In our lives, church, culture?

Regarding God's will, we know that will never violate His word. We need the Bible and rely on wise counsel, circumstances, open doors, and a peace that passes understanding to help in this area.

The problem: "my people are destroyed for lack of knowledge." (Hosea 4:6a) But it goes beyond that: sometimes, we know more than we do. We must first know, then believe, then do. For knowing, we must know (using sports imagery):

• our opposition (the world, flesh, and devil)
• the playbook (the Word of God—Proverbs 1:3-8, 2 Peter 1:2-3, Ephesians 1:17-21)
• our position 
• offense: you represent the king, and must lead, guide and protect
• defense: you represent the priest, and must take issues to God
• special teams: you represent the prophet, and must bring God's word to others

From these, we get five questions:

1. Are we teaching what needs to be taught?
2. Are we teaching a Biblical worldview?
3. Are we helping build Biblical values?
4. Are we shaping Biblica skills?
5. Are we becoming more like Christ?

Talk 3: Calibration (Discern the Solution)

In 1 Kings 19 (verse 9-on), God approaches the prophet Elijah as he hides in a cave and asks him a simple question: what are you doing here? The Lord would meet Elijah's physical needs, speak truth to him, and give him a friend (Elisha) to help. He does the same to us today.

Every man is driven by significance, so we develop an "if/then" philosophy, and from that a goal-oriented lifestyle:

set goal—reach goal—temporary, partial satisfaction—set new goal

What do we seek? Typically, our goals are related to position, possessions, people, and/or prestige.

Is that where we should be? What drives you? What should? You can tell by your passions: we don't like whoever/whatever blocks our goals.

The Christian has a calling. God's work in our life is not limited to salvation; He equips us with gifts and has a mission for us. Sometimes our calling (gifts or mission) are difficult to determine. Broadly, it will be a combination of need, resources, and passion. What do people in our lives need? What resources do we have? What are our passions? Those three categories can be viewed as a Venn diagram, similar to the "need/good at/like" categories I've heard discussed in professional circles. Our calling may be in the center of that diagram (hitting all three areas). The SHAPE acrostic can help us understand our calling, too:

• Spiritual-giftedness
• Heart
• Abilities
• Personality
• Experiences

Game Plan: Enlarge the Heart

We need to do a proper assessment:

• do I love/hate what God loves/hates?
• do I align with God?

In today's frenetic age, most of us are full. But are we whole? Every man needs to be connected, transformed, challenged, and discipled:

• Connected: every man needs other men in our life
• "sin demands to have a man by himself."- Dietrich Bonhoefer
• Transformed: every man needs a master. It is God or idol(s).
• Philippians 3:4-8
• Challenged: every man needs a mission/purpose. We are ambassadors for Christ!
• 2 Corinthians 5:20
• Discipled: every man needs to be discipled/taught.
• Colossians 1:28-29

Talk 4: Execution (Drive to the Finish)

In Isaiah 6, the Lord asks: whom shall I send? The Christian is called to glorify God and reveal Him to others through our word and conduct. What do we do next? We need a plan.

"Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand." (Proverbs 19:21) We need a plan (if we fail to plan, we plan to fail), all while keeping this verse in mind.

Our plan comes from 1 Corinthians 16:13-14:

1. Be alert/on your guard
2. Stand firm in the faith [on the word of God]; what God has revealed as truth
3. Be a man of courage
4. Be strengthened [comes from the Lord]
5. Be kind and loving

Game Plan: Using our Strength

Implementing these things, we need to

• Create Value: 
• There are five types of men. What, in the church, are we doing for each category of man?
• Natural man ("how can I serve me?")
• wants buddies
• Cultural Christian ("how can God serve me?")
• wants friends
• Biblical Christian ("how can I serve God?")
• wants fellowship
• Leadership Christian ("how can I serve God and others?")
• wants mentees
• Hurting man (spans all categories; a man beset by tragedy, addiction, etc.)
• Capture Momentum:
• In our various situations, we need to think on the right, intentional next steps
• Sustain Change:
• we serve together

Talk 5: Do You Want to be Whole?

"Satan does not tempt us just to do wrong things. He tempts us to make us lose what God has put into us through redemption; namely, the possibility of being of value to God." (AW Tozer)

We are full of shh . . .tuff. There is a difference between being full and whole. See John 5:1-6, where Jesus asks a disabled man if he wants to be whole.

We often have two problems as we seek to be whole on our own devices:

1. We fill up with "shtuff"—we have 'affluenza'
2. We focus on externals (vs. internals; see Ephesians 3:14-19)

These two problems lead to the cycle mentioned above of a goal-oriented lifestyle, and end in disappointment, discouragement, despair, doubt, and defeat. So . . . how does one get whole?

As mentioned above: every man needs to be connected, transformed, challenged, and discipled. Moving forward, think on where you are in these areas. What is your 'here'? What is your 'there'? What can you do about it?

Final thought: the Christian life is not difficult . . . it is impossible [with man]. Yet with God . . . (see Matthew 19:26).