Building a Godly Home

This past weekend was an annual men's retreat. As is my custom, I summarize and post the talks below. The speakers this year were Bob, Geoff, Kendall, Wayne, and Edward, all speaking on aspects of what it means to build a Godly home.

Session 1: God creates the home

When we think about building anything, you need to know what materials you have. God tells us this in Scripture. In this talk, we look at three things that were true before the fall of man.

1. A call to radical optimism
• In Genesis 1:28, God commands man to be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth, subdue it, and have dominion. How can we possibly achieve this?
• Look at Genesis 1:27. God creates man in his own image, and it goes on to use a singular pronoun (created ‘him’) followed by a plural (created ‘them’). We are individuals within a plurality; God’s design for our home [or sphere of influence] is as an individual plus being with others in community.
• We should thus have a radical optimism on what we can build.
2. A call to humble realism
• Consider Genesis 2:19-20. There was Adam and all the animals . . . and no suitable helper for him. Before the fall, by design, we need help! We cannot do it on our own.
• It is easy for us to begrudge each other and grow weary of the other’s persistent imperfections, but remember that the people you are building with are image-bearers and need help. We also need to be humble enough to accept help—to embrace our own need.
3. We are utterly compatible
• See Genesis 2:18, 21-23. Woman was taken from man. Made in the same place, out of the same stuff, for the same purpose. Adam calls Eve “bone of my bone.”
• It is tempting to view man and woman as entirely different. Instead, appreciate and celebrate the compatible person God gave you. Look to unity of purpose, and not what divides.

Session 2: Sin wrecks the home

How did the fall of man affect building a Godly home?

We were created with a purpose and obligation to serve God. We were never intended to be free agents, but with our whole being, we were to consecrate all that we do as an offering to God, demonstrating we are not our own. We consecrate ourselves primarily through listening and doing what God says, and not considering alternatives to what God tells us. Man lives by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God (Deut. 8:3 and Matthew 4:4). This should be a joyful obedience . . . but man fell (see Genesis 3).

After the fall, our consecrated purpose and obligation continues (see Hebrews 11:4 about Abel). But we are now evil (and God remains holy). Sin crouches at our door and wants to rule us (Genesis 4:6-7). What hope do we have?

In order for God to dwell in our midst (which is the essence of truly building a Godly home), Man needs to be consecrated—set apart for God as sinless, or holy through purging of evil and putting off sin. And that is only possible in Jesus. Paul tells us that through our union with Christ, we have died to sin and raised with him to new life (see Colossians 2:12-14).

Through Jesus, God is accomplishing his goal of building a Godly home. We are sinless through the work of Christ, and God's Spirit now indwells us, sanctifying us from inside out. God is dwelling in our midst now, and will be building a permanent, more glorious home yet in the future (Revelation 21:3). In this present life, we are to make all our actions as consecrated actions, doing all things in His name (Colossians 3:17, 23-24) and through His strength (John 15:5). And it is through the Spirit that we can break the bond of sin (Romans 8:1-9).

Yet as we continue to struggle with our sinful nature (Romans 7:19-25), we recognize we are in a spiritual battle., where we need to "put off " the sinful, selfish nature and at the same time "put on" the new nature being re-created in us by God's Spirit working in us. This leads to seven practical steps we should take:

1. We must choose: will we worship God or worship ourselves?
2. Commit to live by God’s word, not our own sense of right and wrong
3. Realize the spiritual battle (within and around us) and decide what to do about it
4. Recognize our need for forgiveness and boldly approach our Savior for it
5. Commit to repent and live differently (Colossians 3:5)
6. Be bold, courageous, and lead speaking truth. Don’t give up, knowing God is working in and through you. He will complete what He starts (Philippians 1:6)!

Session 3: God redeems the home

Though man fell (see previous session), God had a plan to redeem him.

In Genesis 17:1-8, God establishes a covenant with Abraham (God always acts first), promising blessing and multiplying and to be his God. Though we rejected God . . . He didn’t reject us. He rescues us from our burdens (see Exodus 6:7), adopts us (Ephesians 1:3-5), and is with us now (Matthew 28:20) and will dwell with us forever (Revelation 21:3). He wants to be with us!

Have you ever taken count of your blessings? We are blessed in so many ways . . . and yet we have darkness and struggles. Idols dominate relationships. There is evil, death, and hardship. And yet . . . we are in Christ.

Jesus uses hard things to grow and help us. He is sovereign even over the darkness in our life. We are promised trials, but it is to bring about God’s good purpose (see 1 Corinthians 4:11-13, James 1:2-4, 1 Peter 1:6-7). “God wastes no pain.”

Jesus wants to be our God, and for us to be His people. He gifts/equips us (2 Timothy 1:6-7) and sanctifies us (1 Thessalonians 5:23-24). He prays for us to be one with Him and the Father (John 17:20-23). Because of the redemption we have in Christ . . . the darkness will not overcome.

Session 4: We have a mission

The Christian life is not about yourself. We are commanded to go and make disciples (in and outside of your home). Consider how Jesus did so.

Read Matthew 10:1-7. Jesus appoints disciples and immediately sends them out to proclaim the kingdom of heaven, heal the sick, and more. That Jesus sends them out before being fully mature shows that their effectiveness (and ours) depends on the Spirit, not our competence, and indicates that we should not wait until we feel we are ready before we obey. (Indeed, one way to grow and fight our self-centeredness is to help others—see Philippians 2:3-8.) In doing this, the disciples learned 1) that they needed help (both God’s strength and each other) and 2) avoided hubris.

How did Jesus tell them to do things? To behave in a way that doesn’t impede the gospel (see 1 Corinthians 9:19-23 or 10:24).

What are we to do? To be just, kind, and walk humbly with God (see Micah 6:8). To visit the needy and keep unstained from the world (see James 1:27).

What is our motive? Love, without which we are nothing (see 1 Corinthians 13:1-7). Love involves doing good things and laying down our life for others, and when we do so, we are doing so for Jesus (see John 15:13-14, 1 John 3:16, and Matthew 25:31-40).

Our call is to outward mission. Our motivation is love, which we can model because he first loved us (1 John 4:19). When the journey gets hard, here are four meditational aids to help us remember that we are loved.

1. Be reminded of the creator/creation intimacy (see Psalm 139). We are known! The Creator knows me well and calls me his child.
2. Think seriously about how sin severs that relationship (see Psalm 32:3-5) and not being right with others can hinder our prayers (see 1 Peter 3:7). We need the greater affection of being with Jesus to take over to overcome our sin.
3. Reflect on examples (real or fictional) where people lay down their life for others. These stories can be flawed but powerful and pack an emotional punch, pointing us to what Christ did for us and demands of us (John 15:12-13). We should meditate on the perfect and real sacrifice of Christ until it moves us at least as much—the Lord’s Supper is for that purpose.
4. Remember a sense of belonging and our end (see Matthew 25:21)—entering the joy of our Maker!

Session 5: Building like a man

God created the home. Sin wrecked the home. God redeemed the home. We have a mission. So how do we build a Godly home? There are five pillars to consider, using 1 Corinthians 16:13-14 as the text.

1. Diligent Watchfulness
• Whatever flows out of our hearts flows into our homes. We are called to watch two things: our hearts (Proverbs 4:23) and for the enemy (1 Peter 5:8).
2. Firmness in the Faith
• Cultivate a hunger for the truth of God (Proverbs 23:23)
• Where does our time/attention go? Is it on knowing Christ and making Him known?
3. Courageous Masculinity
• We are called to be bold like the righteous (Proverbs 28:1). How can we? It is given to us/declared of us in Christ. We must therefore strive for bold, fearless action, avoiding fear, passivity, pride, and anger.
4. Active Strength
• To be strong, we need to recognize our innate weakness and sense of need (2 Timothy 2:1), modeling humble reliance on the grace of God.
5. All-encompassing Love
• Let all we do be done in love (1 Corinthians 13)
• “A Godly man must be all of love or all he does is all for naught.”
• “Love is biblical faith worked out in proper order.”