The UK vs. Germany

I lived in the UK for three years, and Germany for four.  Thus, I am aware of and extremely opinionated about life in each country, and happy to tell you how they rank relative to each other.  Below, I do just that, based on categories, being careful neither to "think too hard" nor research anything to back my claims.

History
The UK has existed in its present form for much longer than Germany.  The former's history is interesting due largely to the amount of violence, deceit, and general horror that occurred at various times in their past.  The latter is noted mostly for being the primary antagonist during two world wars.  Interestingly, if it weren't for the USA, the UK and Germany might be one country right now.
Advantage: UK

Travel
Being geographically isolated, the UK encourages its residents to get off-island by making it extremely difficult to move around on-island.  The 2-lane roads are, on average, 1.8 lanes wide (0.9 when vehicles line the streets) and 1500 years old.  To encourage vehicle damage, these narrow lanes are often lined with stone walls and feature extremely circuitous paths dotted with blind corners and summits.  Also, you have to drive on the left, or "communist," side of the road, which presents further difficulty. 

German roads, on the other hand, are made for facilitating blitzkrieg efficient travel.  The autobahns have many unlimited speed zone areas, meaning you can get anywhere fast.  The Germans observe strict lane discipline- violations are considered more severe than manslaughter.  Their location in Europe means many countries are within a few-hour drive.  Also, the Germans have the good sense to drive on the right, like everyone else.
Advantage: Germany

Weather
Do I need to elaborate?  The weather in the UK is legendary for oscillating between 'annoying' and 'dreadful,' with the occasional 'tolerable' thrown in for good measure.  In Germany, it's a tad better, and noticeably more sunny- though their lack of air conditioning makes a few weeks every summer extremely uncomfortable.
Advantage: Germany

Housing
UK homes are filled with all sorts of "charm," by which we mean "mold and questionable plumbing."  Also, the average Brit doesn't seem to care about the state of his/her place, with disrepair and indifference the typical condition of and approach to home maintenance, respectively.

German homes are stark and sound.  It may not be pretty- but it will be functional.  Germany has the advantage that most of its communities were blown away updated in the 1940s, so they had an easier time modernizing.  The main downside to German housing is obtaining the digging permit required before you can put a shovel to your lawn- necessary due to the unexploded ordnance that still dots the countryside (seriously).
Advantage: Germany

Medicine
UK medicine is totally socialized and state-run.  The National Health Service, or NHS, is very good at both treating emergencies and not treating other things until they become emergencies.  It's "free," which means it's easy to go to the doctor, who will probably tell you to wait a few weeks and see if it's worse.  The first line doctors (GPs) don't always have much training/experience- one time, as I was describing my symptoms, I watched the GP typing them into google (not joking).

Germany is a bit more similar to America.  Everyone has insurance- if you don't get it through your employer, you have to buy a state plan.  German doctors don't prescribe medicines as frequently as the doctors in the States- the general mantra is "let the body fight it off first, then get medicine if you're weak necessary."  If something's wrong (or not wrong), the Germans don't beat around the bush.  I once had shortness of breath and went to the doctor about it.  He measured my lung capacity and said "you big baby- you're capacity's higher than average.  You're fine; get out."  They're quite direct, those Germans, but I did trust them.
Advantage: Germany

Food
English food isn't as bad as the stereotypes say- the Brits have a few nice dishes, most of which have comical names (like "bubble and squeak," "bangers and mash," or "neeps and tatties").  Still, they tend towards bland- for flavor on-island, you have to seek Thai or Indian.

German food is good for those desiring early heart attacks various pig products served in ginormous portions.  Also known for their beer (served by the liter), apple strudel, and bread, you won't go hungry in Deutschland.  They also happen to serve fantastic Italian and Turkish food.
Advantage: Germany

Family
The British are quite family-friendly.  Family size seemed to average 2-3 kids.  Impressively, the locals seemed to enjoy interacting with my children, even when they (the children) were screeching, destroying priceless historical artifacts, and throwing blunt objects at endangered species.

For years, the ethnic German population has been in decline; people have 0-1 kids.  Germans prefer dogs, which are easier to train, please, and raise.  Dogs in Germany are extremely disciplined; several have obtained commercial pilot licenses.  Kids in Germany aren't seen in public until they can behave- so anyone under 25 is required by law to remain indoors.
Advantage: UK

People
Brits are friendly, prone to drunkenness, kind, possibly insane, technically incompetent, focused on the past, and fun to be around.  If I had to summarize the British in one word, it would be "polite."

Germans are direct, show little emotion, technically competent, on time, heavy drinkers, focused on the future, serious, and rigid (structured).  If I had to summarize the Germans in one word, it would be "disciplined."

Choosing which is better is hard.  If you had to personify them, the UK is that favorite distant family member with many quirks who may be insane but enormously fun; you'd hang out with them but not want them to fix your car.  The German is that extremely serious, knowledgeable professor in college you'd trust implicitly but wouldn't choose to hang out with.
Advantage: tie

Culture
Culture is a broad term; by it I mean things like movies, literature, music, social life, and the like.  The UK has an impressive list of notable authors, musicians, and other cultural icons in its corner; the Germans have next to nothing (quick: name a German author not named 'Goethe') outside of composers from centuries ago. 

Advantage: UK

Language
The UK technically speaks English, though you wouldn't know it by their spelling, accent, and pronounciation.  Trust me; Americans may not be able to understand them.  Germany, of course, speaks German, and is apparently taxed for every space they use in sentences; thus, they just mash all their words together and throw a few verbs at the end for fun.  On the plus side, almost every German speaks nearly flawless English.
Advantage: UK 

Overall

I like them both in their own way, and delight in their differences.  The above list may indicate I prefer Germany overall- honestly, I'm not sure.  German society has a structure, competence, and discipline to it that I love; the Brits have the element of fun, politeness and culture which is equally appealing.  As an American, I fit in more with the British, in that I could (sort of) understand (some of) them, but I also prefer the discipline of the Germans.  In the end, I'm extremely blessed to have experienced them both.