The Meaning of Marriage (Timothy Keller)

Whether or not you're married, it's good to read marriage books every now and then.  Timothy Keller's work looks at:
- the secret of marriage
- the power for marriage
- the essence of marriage
- the mission of marriage
- loving the stranger
- embracing the other
- singleness and marriage
- sex and marriage

He bases his book on 37 years of marriage, his experience with his inner-city New York church (4,000 attendees, 75% of whom are single), and the Bible.

At its core, the book argues that "Jesus's sacrificial service to us has brought us into a deep union with him and he with us.  And that . . . is the key not only to understanding marriage but to living it."  "This is one of God's great purposes in marriage: to picture the relationship between Christ and His redeemed people forever!"  What does that mean? That "each partner is called to sacrifice for the other in far-reaching ways.  Whether we are husband or wife, we are not to live for ourselves but for the other.  And that is the hardest yet single most important function of being a husband or a wife in marriage."  Because we're inherently selfish, that means a successful marriage (or relationship of any kind, frankly), will require us to "undergo a radical change in the way [we] relate to people."  The book goes on to discuss ways that needs to happen, from both our understanding of to our actions in marriage.

We need to hear the gospel in different ways, applied to different situations; this is a good look at marriage through that lens.  And I like Keller's quote defining the gospel: "It is that you are so lost and flawed, so sinful, that Jesus had to die for you, but you are also so loved and valued that Jesus was glad to die for you."  Marriage involves two lost and flawed people, who (if they truly love and value each other) will gladly sacrifice for the other, to the point of death.  A lofty goal to be sure!

It's a good work; I expect nothing less from Keller.  It's insightful and challenging.  I especially appreciated the chapters on loving the stranger (how we change through life and can become unrecognizable, and how to handle that) and singleness (how to neither over- nor under-desire marriage).  Check this one out.

Rating: A