What Makes a Home

image from here

This past week, we became homeowners for the second time. It's a great blessing to own; we're especially thankful to have found a house in this market. Now, the work begins.

I suspect most homeowners are like us: the minute you take ownership, you think about what you'd like to change. I think you can bin desired changes into three categories:

- immediate

- short-term (within a few years)

- long-term (someday)

The immediate things are due to safety (to people and home, like fixing miswired outlets or leaks), functionality (like a door that won't close appropriately), or convenience (like painting and carpeting- much easier in empty rooms). 

The short-term are things that need not happen right away, but it would be nice if they did within a few years. These might also have a safety/functionality component, but the need isn't dire.

The long-term are those dream projects, generally higher-cost (like renovating a kitchen or finishing a basement).

We have our list of desired changes. The challenge, for us, is binning them appropriately. In our hearts (and today's culture in general), delayed gratification is a hard concept. If we want something, we tend to want it now. So we want everything in the 'immediate' or 'short-term' cateogory. But that's not always feasible or wise.

I've spent time in our still-empty home this week working on immediate changes.  These first few days, before our things arrive, are always the hardest, and sometimes the craziest (having four contractors in our home simultaneously to give estimates for different things was a bit too much for me). And they're also some of the saddest- because I'm there alone (my family is staying elsewhere until our things arrive). And in that loneliness comes a stark reminder about what makes a home. 

Changes are nice, and sometimes needed. But what makes a home isn't the location, structure, or trappings within. I've watched people over the years pour money into their homes, only to be dissatisfied and 1) keep doing it, or 2) move and do the same thing in their next home. People have built their dream homes and then relocated within a few years. Why? I blame HGTV, which exists to encourage house envy. Just kidding (sort of)- it's because we do what humans do: we make good things into ultimate things. Our house becomes an idol that we feel will satisfy if only we do X, Y, and Z. And then we do those things and find that we're still not happy- because the ultimate satisfaction cannot be found in possessions.

So what makes a home nice? It's the relationships. It's the Lord first and foremost, who is with us wherever we are, and commands us to be obedient and content in all circumstances (which includes with our houses). It's also the people that are there with you, be it family (if you have one), roommates (ditto), or visitors. Relationships are what makes a home.

We all know people with small or poor homes that were a delight to be with- who showed genuine concern for, and generosity towards, those around them. And we all know people with magnificent mansions that were insufferable. Which home would you rather visit? Lord Jesus, grant that our home, whatever the condition, is a place of welcome and love for all. And grant us contentment in all circumstances. And I wouldn't say no to a finished basement.