Resting Amid Stress

image from here

Last month, we had our annual men's retreat.  The speaker was Reverend Allen Harris, who led five sessions on how to be a man of God in a culture of high stress.  The goal is not apathy or ease- it's for purpose & focus in our calling.  I present the following summary of his talks (I make no attempt to recap every point).

Session I: Stress
There are two main kinds of stress:
1. Culture & Technology
Our culture greatly impacts our stress. Consider: before the invention of electricity, some cultures worked only 1200 hours per year, by necessity limited by daylight hours.  No longer so bounded, we work much more- and sleep less.  We need sleep for adequate recuperation (it's when our body purifies itself and heals).  When we ignore sleep, we set ourselves up for more stress.

Technological advancements also have effects.  The biggest technological paradigm shifts in recent years are the Internet and smart phone.  The Internet is a "wonderful servant and terrible master," and smart phones have taken over.  The average American checks their phone 47 times per day, and spends 25% of their waking hours staring a phones.

2. Gospel Issues
A big source of our stress is personal pride, thinking "if I don't do this, it won't be done right."  We want to be seen as successes, and will subject ourselves to all manners of things to do so- at terrible cost.  Similarly, we often struggle with people pleasing, and overextend ourselves so others will think well of us.  It's no wonder we work 15% more and take leisure 30% less than twenty years ago.

We should operate with "the uniqueness principle" for prioritization: of the things that need to be done, what can only I do and must be done now? If our capacity is viewed as a jar, we identify the big rocks and put those in first, lest others fill it with pebbles, sand, and water.

The experience of stress and anxiety is as ancient as Scripture.  Philippians 4:4-6 is an excellent passage on anxiety, exhorting us to rejoice, not by altering circumstances, but by:
- recognizing the Lord (and His presence) as our source of joy
- laying our problems before Him through prayer and supplication
- giving thanks for His blessings
The passage ends with a promise: that the peace of God will guard your heart (emotions) and mind (thoughts)- beyond all understanding.

Session II: Gospel Insight from Scripture
The life of Jesus gives us many lessons on stress.  Jesus was very busy, and in high demand, but He understood His purpose and priorities:
1) preach the Gospel
2) perform miracles and demonstrate His power
3) die for our sins

With goals always in view, He lived perfectly amidst constant demands.  He healed frequently, yet got up before dawn to pray and be alone (Mark 1:29-39); He was focused yet flexible, helping people (like at the revival in John 4:39-43) but keeping His face set on Jerusalem (he didn't remain in one place long, even though He could have stayed and healed more in a given region- see Luke 9-19).  He put spiritual things above physical, as demonstrated in Luke 10:38-42 (Mary sitting at His feet while Martha served).  And His work was finished (John 19:30)!  You have enough time to complete 100% of God's will for your life.

Jesus says come to Him for rest; his yoke is easy and His burden light (Matthew 11:28-30).  Do you believe that?

The book of Ephesians also has valuable thoughts on this topic.  The most important sentence in the Bible (Ephesians 1:3-14) sums up God's purpose, covering past, present, future and the Father, Son, and Spirit.  Ephesians 1:17-23 covers the three most important things for you to know:
- Him better
- your hope
- His power

Keep the most important things- the "big rocks"- in view at all times!

Sometimes we stress about God's will.  There are two kinds:
- His revealed will for all His disciples
- His undisclosed will for your uniquely
We are to live according to His revealed will for all His disciples (new standards the Bible is clear on) so you may better know his undisclosed will for you uniquely.  Discover more and more what pleases Him, choose what you know is right (Ephesians 5:8-17).  That frees you to say 'No' and live sanely and peacefully.


Session III: Periodic Prolonged Times of Prayer (and Fasting)
It's important to get out and schedule prolonged times of prayer (one hour or more, preferably in a secluded spot where you can pray out loud).  Why?  To reconnect with God and reset our priorities.  How?  Below are ten suggestions for your prayers; do not go through all ten each time, but use these to help guide the time.  Remember the goal: a steady, fixed, habitual gaze on Jesus.

- keep (and review) a daily journal of God's activity in your life; think over events and lessons learned
- bring a hymnal; pray through a hymn
- read a psalm and pray it personally
- read Scriptures you have been studying recently
- bring a Christian devotional; read a couple pages and think on it
- once a year, write your priorities for the next year;  review them.
- consider praying the Lord's prayer; fill in the particulars in your life.
- review; of all you've been meditating on so far, ask the Lord about things- is there some weight you need to set aside to run the race of faith less hindered?
- pray for your family and those close to you that the Lord brings to mind.
- finish by reviewing the day.  Thank Him for the day  and ways you saw Him and His goodness.

Session IV: Discussion on Time
Here, we discussed our individual prayer times and time logs we kept in the week leading up to the retreat.

How was prayer time?  For me, both good & hard (to maintain focus, at times).  But it was extremely valuable.  I kept a notepad and jotted thoughts about God as I prayed; I should pray like this once a week, for one hour, in solitude (so I can pray out loud).

How were the time logs?  Good; keeping track of how I spent my time was enlightening and can help shape our days.  I was surprised by how much I 'putzed', even though I consider myself productive.  The goal in looking at time management isn't legalistic prohibitions- it's being aware and altering as needed.

Session V: Sunday Worship
Sabbath is a gift: relax!  It was made for man (Mark 2:27).  It is the way we are wired.  The world perspectives are often that one or the other is bad, but we shouldn't work to rest or rest to work; both work and rest are good (Exodus 20:8-11).  We need one day a week to recharge, rest, and restore.  Learn to truly 'turn off' (get away from typical distractions- smartphones, etc.).

How?  Worship and hear the gospel.  Fellowship with God's people.  Reflect quietly on life (review the past week, look at priorities for the next week).  Play and pray.  And have recreation- walks, reading, playing games, etc.

Final Thoughts
This was a good retreat, with helpful information from a great speaker.  Remember: we must strive for a steady, fixed, habitual gaze on Jesus.  Doing so will reduce our stress far better than any self-help techniques.

An Artist of the Floating World (Kazuo Ishiguro)

A fictional novel set in Japan following WWII, An Artist of the Floating World looks as post-war Japanese society through the eyes of Ono, an elderly artist.  Ono went from painting pleasure district themes to helping the Japanese cause with patriotic works during WWII.  After surrender, the celebrated become the scorned, and Ono reflects as he wrestles with what it all means.  Ultimately, he concludes that he made mistakes by aiding the war effort, but in good faith, and learns to live with that.

This book is a mixed bag.  It's well-written and suspenseful, which I enjoyed.  The suspense isn't of what is to come but of what happened, as the author gives clues that Ono has a past some find unacceptable, but it doesn't become clear until the end; I enjoyed that approach.  I also liked reading a novel from the Japanese perspective- something I've never done before.  My only ding is with message.  As I stated, it appears to be "mistakes happen; boldly live," which isn't bad until you think about the scale of atrocities committed during the war, which I feel merits deeper reflection and perhaps a different conclusion.  The implied mistake isn't so much being wrong as it is losing- I came away with the impression that the Japanese weren't sorry for doing what they did- they were sorry for failing to accomplish their goals.  Definitely makes one think- should that be the reaction?  That said, well-written books that provoke contemplation are worth your time; but always be aware of message. 

Rating: B+

Solo

Han ekes out a sorry existence on Corellia, but vows to improve his lot, plotting to escape with his friend, Qi'ra.  Things go awry, they get separated, he joins the Empire, and ends up with a very different set of problems.  But always on his mind is Qi'ra and getting back to her.  To do so, he'll do any job- and pay any price.

Solo tells Han's story- how he met Chewie, Lando, acquired the Millennium Falcon, and made the Kessel Run.  It's . . . okay.  It was cool to see the backstory, get glimpses of things previously mentioned in former movies and the Expanded Universe (EU), and meet new characters.  But . . . it felt lifeless.  The extremely fast pace makes for poor plot and character development, the dialogue is sub-par, and the humor is only so-so.  Ultimately, I enjoyed the story well enough (and some shocking cameos or references point to sequels), but the execution leaves something to be desired.

Rating: B-

The Greatest Showman

The Greatest Showman is a musical based (loosely) on the life of P.T. Barnum, founder of what would eventually be called Barnum & Bailey's Circus.  Here, we see Barnum rise above childhood poverty to realize his dreams.  But he'll soon discover even wild success can be unsatisfying.

This is a wonderful movie.  It's a rags-to-riches-to-rags-to-true riches tale, with Barnum learning the hard way that true satisfaction doesn't come from success, but who you're with and the love you share.  The musical numbers are great and the message is good.  It's extremely fast-paced, but musicals get some leniency from me in this area based on their nature.  Highly recommended.

Rating: A

Confident Pluralism (John Inazu)

In Confident Pluralism, professor John Inazu tackles an issue of monumental importance: how to survive- even thrive- in an era of deep differences.

Summary
We don't like different.  Even those who claim to embrace diversity and inclusion often bound their approval to include certain schools of thought and exclude others.  In other words, we approve of differences as long as we deem them acceptable (translation: we're all intolerant of something).  In an increasingly divisive society, we're heading for problems unless we learn to handle living together holding fundamentally different convictions.  To address this issue, the author coins a term he calls confident pluralism.

"Confident pluralism argues that we can, and we must, learn to live with each other in spite of our deep differences.  It requires a tolerance for dissent, a skepticism of government orthodoxy, and a willingness to endure strange and even offensive ways of life." 

"Confident pluralism allows genuine differences to coexist without suppressing or minimizing our firmly held convictions."  The goal "is not to settle which views are right and which views are wrong.  Rather, it proposes that the future of our democratic experiment requires finding a way to be steadfast in our personal convictions, while also making room for the cacophony that may ensue when others disagree with us."

He argues that confident pluralism "remains possible in both law and society."  To that end, he looks at constitutional commitments and civic practices.

Constitutional Commitments
Inazu focuses on voluntary groups, public forum, and public funding requirements- "the structural arrangements that we need to make confident pluralism possible."

Voluntary groups: "Government officials should not interfere with the membership, leadership, or internal practices of a voluntary group absent a clearly articulated and precisely defined compelling interest."

Public forum: "Government should honor its commitment to ensure public forums for the voicing of dissent and discontent.  Expressive restrictions in these forums should only be justified by compelling government interests.  Private public forums that effectively supplant these government-sponsored forums should in some cases be held to similar standards."

Public funding: "When the government offers generally available resources (financial and otherwise) to facilitate a diversity of viewpoints and ideas, it should not limit those resources based on its own orthodoxy."

Civic Practices
"Many people are dismissive or insulting of those with other viewpoints . . . [and] many people only listen to viewpoints with which they already agree."  This is problematic, and Inazu develops imperatives for three civic practices (speech, collective action, and common ground) based on three aspirations: tolerance ("a willingness to accept genuine difference, including profound moral disagreement"), humility ("recognizes that our human faculties are inherently limited . . . all of us, whether religious or not, live and act on a kind of faith"), and patience ("involves restraint, persistence, and endurance").

Speech imperative: "We should take steps to soften our tone and move out of our echo chambers.  We should choose to avoid the hurtful insult and the conversation stopper.  Living speech, even in the midst of real and painful differences, can be one of our most important bridges to one another."

Collective action imperative: "Boycotts, strikes, and protests against private actors are in most cases compatible with confident pluralism.  When we engage in these forms of collective action, we should bear in mind the civic aspirations of tolerance, humility, and patience."

Common ground imperative: "Even in the midst of our deepest differences, we might share enough common ground to maintain the possibility of relationship across those differences.  We can bridge relational distance even when we cannot bridge ideological distance."

Review
This is an excellent book.  Short, concise, well-written, fair; I highly recommend it to all.  This is a topic with no easy answers, so Inazu's proposals, by his own admission, are not a guaranteed solution- but it's likely the best we can do.  Parting thought:

We must be willing to abide someone else's unfamiliar or even repellant practice because the same tolerant impulse protects our own idiosyncrasies- Supreme Court Justice William Brennan

Rating: A

The Silmarillion (J.R.R. Tolkien)

The Silmarillion is J.R.R. Tolkien's tales/myths of the beginning- the first age of Middle Earth.  Here we see how Eru (called Iluvatar by the Elves) created the Ainur, whose music shaped and formed Middle Earth.  Some of these dwelt on Earth and became Valar, and lesser spirits Maiar.  But a rebellious Ainur, named Melkor, came too, and some fallen Maiar joined him, one of whom was named . . . Sauron.

Though dominated by the title tale, this book consists of several stories:
- Ainulindale (12 pages)- the creation story
- Valaquenta (10 pages)- of the Valar and Maiar
- Quenta Silmarillion (290 pages)- the history of the elves, mostly, and their battles (against each other, men, dwarves, and Melkor/Morgoth)
- Akallabeth (30 pages)- the downfall of Numenor
- Of the Rings of Power and the Third Age (25 pages)- immediate background to The Lord of the Rings

The Silmarillion (collectively) is both enchanting and boring.  In places, it has:
- wonderful mythology, with profound insights on the nature of our world (the parallels to Christianity are strong)
- heart-rending tales of tragedy and loss
- fascinating stories
- interesting background
In other places, it's an overwhelming list of names and places, relevant only to the Tolkien fanatic (the included 50-page index is helpful but reveals the complexity).

Personally, I enjoyed parts of this for the background it gave to The Lord of the Rings.  Here we learn how elves, dwarves, orcs, and men were created, and about wizards, Balrogs, dragons, and other things found in the classic LOTR stories.  We also see the great battles of ancient times, and understand why Middle Earth looks as it does during The Lord of the Rings books.  Yet, this is in many ways a hard and boring read.  Ultimately, I recommend it only for those obsessed with Tolkien; for the lay reader, three tales (the first two and final) are most interesting and will suffice.

Rating: B-

Crazy Busy (Kevin DeYoung)

In Crazy Busy, Kevin DeYoung looks at our "crazy busy" lives and offers:

- 3 dangers to avoid
- 7 diagnoses to consider
- 1 thing you must do

Summary
The points provided here are quoted from the book.

The three dangers:

- busyness can ruin our joy [can encourage anxiety, stress, etc]
- busyness can rob our hearts [we focus on the wrong things]
- busyness can cover up the rot in our souls [we ignore big problems]

The seven diagnoses:

- you are beset with many manifestations of pride
- you are trying to do what God does not expect you to do
- you can't serve others without setting priorities
- you need to stop freaking out about your kids
- you are letting the screen strangle your soul
- you'd better rest yourself before you wreck yourself
- you suffer more because you don't expect to suffer at all

The one thing:

- devote yourself to the Word of God and prayer; no single practice brings more peace and discipline to life than sitting at the feet of Jesus . . . [this] is the place to start because being with Jesus is the only thing strong enough to pull us away from busyness.

I'll conclude with one final comment from DeYoung:

Busyness, as I've been diagnosing it, is as much a mind-set and a heart sickness as it is a failure in time management.  It's possible to live your days in a flurry of hard work, serving, and bearing burdens, and to do so with the right character and a right dependence on God so that it doesn't feel crazy busy.  By the same token, it's possible to feel amazingly stressed and frenzied while actually accomplishing very little.  The antidote to busyness of soul is not sloth and indifference.  The antidote is rest, rhythm, death to pride, acceptance of our own finitude, and trust in the providence of God.

Review
Overall, this is a good book.  It's short, humble, succinct, vulnerable, convicting, and funny.  It is organized, though it seems somewhat rambling; it's conversational and real.  I like that DeYoung doesn't set out a rigorous formula or promise to solve anything; he simply points to common factors and reminds us of gospel truths.  Highly recommended.

Rating: A

Respectable Sins (Jerry Bridges)

In Respectable Sins, Jerry Bridges argues that many Christians have focused on condemning the sins of the world, rather than the sins of the saints.  As new creations in Christ, we should not/cannot tolerate the sin that remains within us, yet we often hold onto "respectable sins"- things that are so commonly done, even in Christian circles, that we tolerate (or even encourage) them.  This should not be, and so this work is written with a focus on sins that Christians may not think of as sinful.  He covers a variety of things, like anxiety, frustration, discontentment, pride, unthankfulness, selfishness, lack of self control, impatience, anger, judgmentalism, envy, jealousy, sins of the tongue, and worldliness, unpacking each to show how they're wrong and calling Christians to overcome them by the power of the Holy Spirit.

This work disappointed me.  Bridges makes a lot of good points- don't get me wrong- but he makes a few assumptions (about most Christians thinking these things are okay), and his tone irked me.  His examples weren't the best- he frequently used others' sins (not his own) and (as a result) came across wrong, even haughty in a way.  He repeats himself a bit, and makes a few blanket statements that might not be totally true.  There is value here, but I had higher hopes for this one.

Rating: B-

All Things New (Hugh Whelchel)

In All Things New, Hugh Whelchel summarizes the Christian "four-chapter gospel," a common way of describing how the Bible is organized: creation, fall, redemption, restoration.

Creation explains the way things were;
the Fall explains the way things are;
Redemption shows the way things could be; and
Restoration shows the way things will be.

Why is it important to describe Scripture in this way?  "The four-chapter gospel is not just a way to read the Bible.  It's the framework through which we live our lives."  It is a good and accurate way to view and understand the world, and "enables us to understand our identity as God's people and to identify our role in his story."  Not us only: "It's the ultimate story of significance for all humanity."

There's a lot of goodness in this 37-page booklet.  I highly recommend this- to believers and non- as an excellent, succinct, and informative summary of life & Christianity.

Rating: A

Tales of the Bounty Hunters (Various)

Tales of the Bounty Hunters is just that- five stories with the 'classic' baddies (Boba Fett, Dengar, 4-LOM, Zuckuss, IG-88, Bossk) seen in The Empire Strikes Back.  Here, we learn of:
- IG-88's creation story (and galactic domination plans)
- How Dengar met and fell in love with Manaroo
- Bossk and hunting wookies
- How 4-LOM and Zuckuss helped the Rebels at Hoth
- Boba Fett chasing Han Solo & Labria (a minor character in A New Hope)

Unfortunately, this book is quite poor- marginally interesting at best.  Each story does tie into ESB in some way, which is cool, but that's quickly overshadowed by poor writing, poor characterizations, etc.  Not worth your time.

Rating: C-

Elements of Style (Strunk & White)

There's a good chance you read The Elements of Style in high school.  In under 100 pages, Professor Strunk provides the essential principles of writing well, "his attempt to cut the vast tangle of English rhetoric down to size and write its rules and principles on the head of a pin."  He, along with E.B. White, covers eleven rules of usage, eleven principles of composition, "a few matters of form," misused words, and thoughts on style. 

An important point that stood out to me: Omit needless words.  "Brevity is a by-product of vigor."

Vigorous writing is concise.  A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts.  This requires not that the writes make all sentences short, or avoid all detail and treat subjects only in outline, but that every word tell.

This is a great little manual.  Read it cover to cover, or refer to it as needed.  Good writing is an important life skill; prepare accordingly.

Rating: A

Dungeon!

Today's review is of the 1975 release, Dungeon!  For 1-8 players, it takes 45 minutes . . . or much longer.

Overview
Take on a role (cleric, wizard, fighter, elf, something else) and dare to enter the dungeon!  On your turn, you move up to 5 spaces (stopping if in a room or chamber with monsters) and fight a monster if possible.  The board is separated into six zones, with two decks for each (a monster and treasure deck).  To fight a monster, draw a monster card from the matching deck, and role two die.  If your number (which varies based on your role) is equal to or greater than the monster's, you win!  Take a treasure card (from the corresponding treasure deck), which grants points or other bonuses.  If you lose, roll again to determine your fate- you may drop treasure, be pushed back, or worse.  Once you've accumulated enough points, head back to the center of the board first to win!

game components; image from here

Review
A very simple game, I had low expectations for this one.  But I was pleasantly surprised- it's better than expected.  Yes, it's basic, and yes, it's mostly dice chucking, with very little strategy.  But a simple concept executed well should not be ignored.  It takes much longer than the printed time, but I wouldn't say no to an occasional play.

Rating: B-

Avengers: Infinity War

Thanos is coming.  Immortal and without equal, he's bent on collecting all six infinity stones to become the ultimate power in the universe, capable of wiping out half of humanity with the snap of his fingers.  The Avengers must put aside their differences (started in Captain America: Civil War) and band with the Guardians of the Galaxy to have any hope of stopping them.  But will they?

This is a decent movie- I'd love to say more, but it's difficult to elaborate without spoiling it.  It has plenty of action and effects, and the humor is well done.  It does suffer from the bloat inherent in trying to tie together so many story lines and characters from prior movies, and you really should be familiar with those movies to understand and enjoy this one.  The movie felt both too fast (trying to tie things together without properly-paced development) and too slow (some arcs seemed out-of-place or unnecessary).  Finally, some characters seemed off- Hulk and Thanos (is his goal based on realistic altruism or deranged megalomania?) among them.  But for all its flaws, it was great to see so many heroes in one movie, and the plot twists deviated from your typical formulaic superhero storyline.  Ultimately, this isn't a movie that can stand alone- it must be viewed with the other movies in mind, and thought of as tying them all together.  Through that lens, they did a pretty good job.

Rating: A-