Once a year, for two days, York hosts the largest antiquarian book fair in Britain. Having never been to such an event, I was filled with excitement and anticipation. I wasn't let down; the following narrative recounts the adventure. First, though, here are some pictures:
Preparing for a book fair
1) Don't bathe for at least a week beforehand. At least, I believe this to be true; I doubt the BO I "enjoyed" from those around me was the result of exercise.
2) Don't trim your head or beard hair* for at least six months prior. It lends an air of credibility- kempt patrons scream "suckers" to the veteran vendors, who will immediately charge double if your tresses have been noticeably combed. The homeless look is always in.
3) Learn to feign intense interest in the most minute, trivial details of a book. Not just the binding- the molecular makeup of it, for example. Be prepared to drone on for hours to other seemingly interested bibliophiles.
At the book fair
1) Remember that vendors determine prices for their books by spinning a 'wheel-o'-ripoff.' Thus, what costs 600 pounds in one stand may be used as toilet paper in the next. Look around first!
2) Be prepared to haggle. It's easier in England, where the average politeness and physical frailty of the bookselling populace makes for easy pickings. I had my eye on a book- the vendor asked for 25 quid. I glared; he immediately said 20. I left and came back a short time later, and told him I'd give 15. Dejectedly, he accepted, while commenting that he had paid 40 for the same volume a short time earlier. Immediately realizing his comment could be construed as ingratitude, he promptly recanted, gave me 15 for taking it from him, and begged to wash my car.
3) If you get taken in by that "old book smell," remember that what you're detecting is "mildew," or a powerful "fungus" in many cases. "When 400 years old you reach, smell so good, you will not." If, upon reaching home with such a volume, you develop a headache, there may be a connection. If unsure, consult your spouse, who will undoubtedly give you the straight scoop.
4) Remember that many books have been republished and have more current editions. The Bible, for example, has been published several times since 1605. You'll see people fawning over copies this old; while beautiful, in the end, you can get a nicer, odor-free version for much cheaper.
5) Due to censorship and threat of death** prevalent in the days of yore, you'll find that a disproportionate number of books for sale are about butterflies and moths. It appears to be the only safe topic for a good hundred years or so.
Other observations
- I was taken aback by some of the titles I saw. I thoroughly enjoyed them; next year, I'll bring a pen and paper just to write them down. The ones I remember:
Biggles and the Gun Runners
Gay Agony
Romances of the Fungus World***
- A line I overheard as I passed by a booth:
Vendor <completing a sale>: "I guarantee this is the cheapest you'll find this book in this show; it's also in the best condition."
Customer <looking immensely pleased>
I happened to glance at the book as I went by. The title? Plant disease. I was consumed with jealousy.
- I enjoyed seeing the first editions of several classics, to include an autographed copy of Churchill's multi-volume set on World War II. That tempted me, until I saw that it cost over 5,000 pounds. Another shocking deal: a beautifully-bound Lord of the Rings Trilogy for 6,000 pounds. As a final example, a vendor told me, excitedly, that someone at the fair had a first-edition, signed copy of Stoker's Dracula for 100,000 pounds. "You could probably get it for 95,000," he told me, totally serious. I realize my looks and demeanor imply wealth, but I spend that kind of money only on Star Wars action figures.
- Irony: an antiquarian book dealer, at a fair, reading his Kindle. See below if you doubt my claim.
Conclusion
All kidding aside, I enjoyed the fair. The books truly are works of art. I succeeded in my goal of not succumbing to temptation; I came out of the fair, physically, with only T.E. Lawrence's Seven Pillars of Wisdom, which was on my reading list. Emotionally, I came out feeling that I'm not nearly as strange as everyone thinks I am- go to a book fair and see what I mean.
*this holds for both men and women
**for publishing controversial works, like "Our Round Earth" or "Women as Equals"
***I'm dead serious. I double-checked that one.
Preparing for a book fair
1) Don't bathe for at least a week beforehand. At least, I believe this to be true; I doubt the BO I "enjoyed" from those around me was the result of exercise.
2) Don't trim your head or beard hair* for at least six months prior. It lends an air of credibility- kempt patrons scream "suckers" to the veteran vendors, who will immediately charge double if your tresses have been noticeably combed. The homeless look is always in.
3) Learn to feign intense interest in the most minute, trivial details of a book. Not just the binding- the molecular makeup of it, for example. Be prepared to drone on for hours to other seemingly interested bibliophiles.
At the book fair
1) Remember that vendors determine prices for their books by spinning a 'wheel-o'-ripoff.' Thus, what costs 600 pounds in one stand may be used as toilet paper in the next. Look around first!
2) Be prepared to haggle. It's easier in England, where the average politeness and physical frailty of the bookselling populace makes for easy pickings. I had my eye on a book- the vendor asked for 25 quid. I glared; he immediately said 20. I left and came back a short time later, and told him I'd give 15. Dejectedly, he accepted, while commenting that he had paid 40 for the same volume a short time earlier. Immediately realizing his comment could be construed as ingratitude, he promptly recanted, gave me 15 for taking it from him, and begged to wash my car.
3) If you get taken in by that "old book smell," remember that what you're detecting is "mildew," or a powerful "fungus" in many cases. "When 400 years old you reach, smell so good, you will not." If, upon reaching home with such a volume, you develop a headache, there may be a connection. If unsure, consult your spouse, who will undoubtedly give you the straight scoop.
4) Remember that many books have been republished and have more current editions. The Bible, for example, has been published several times since 1605. You'll see people fawning over copies this old; while beautiful, in the end, you can get a nicer, odor-free version for much cheaper.
5) Due to censorship and threat of death** prevalent in the days of yore, you'll find that a disproportionate number of books for sale are about butterflies and moths. It appears to be the only safe topic for a good hundred years or so.
Other observations
- I was taken aback by some of the titles I saw. I thoroughly enjoyed them; next year, I'll bring a pen and paper just to write them down. The ones I remember:
Biggles and the Gun Runners
Gay Agony
Romances of the Fungus World***
- A line I overheard as I passed by a booth:
Vendor <completing a sale>: "I guarantee this is the cheapest you'll find this book in this show; it's also in the best condition."
Customer <looking immensely pleased>
I happened to glance at the book as I went by. The title? Plant disease. I was consumed with jealousy.
- I enjoyed seeing the first editions of several classics, to include an autographed copy of Churchill's multi-volume set on World War II. That tempted me, until I saw that it cost over 5,000 pounds. Another shocking deal: a beautifully-bound Lord of the Rings Trilogy for 6,000 pounds. As a final example, a vendor told me, excitedly, that someone at the fair had a first-edition, signed copy of Stoker's Dracula for 100,000 pounds. "You could probably get it for 95,000," he told me, totally serious. I realize my looks and demeanor imply wealth, but I spend that kind of money only on Star Wars action figures.
- Irony: an antiquarian book dealer, at a fair, reading his Kindle. See below if you doubt my claim.
Conclusion
All kidding aside, I enjoyed the fair. The books truly are works of art. I succeeded in my goal of not succumbing to temptation; I came out of the fair, physically, with only T.E. Lawrence's Seven Pillars of Wisdom, which was on my reading list. Emotionally, I came out feeling that I'm not nearly as strange as everyone thinks I am- go to a book fair and see what I mean.
*this holds for both men and women
**for publishing controversial works, like "Our Round Earth" or "Women as Equals"
***I'm dead serious. I double-checked that one.
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