The Endless Pursuit of . . .

image from here

Humans have an almost-impressive tendency to take good things and turn them into problems.  I am, perhaps, the most shining example of this.  Show me something interesting, and watch me turn it into an unhealthy obsession and/or addiction.  I can do it with reading, exercising, gaming, traveling, eating, you name it.  I'm very good at doing good things for bad reasons, or doing good things too often/at bad times- and a good thing done at the wrong time is a bad thing.

Today self-directed rant focuses on travel.  After completing a 1500 mile road trip through the Scottish Highlands, I had to stop and reflect on my overall objective.  I enjoyed the trip- I always enjoy the trip- but so often my traveling turns from "enjoy the blessing of the experience" to "I gotta do this, I gotta do that, must run down the checklist, must run down X,Y, Z, etc."  It becomes stressful and exhausting.  And to what end?

I've lived overseas for 6 years now, all of them in Europe.  I've been able to tour over 20 countries in that time.  I've loved it, no question.  Traveling's not bad- it makes history come alive, instructs on culture,  engulfs the senses in visual beauty, teaches on human nature- but I can so easily turn it from those healthy things into a selfish pursuit.  "I want to see London so I can say I've seen London."  "I want to see X because it would be shameful to miss it, since we're in the area."  "I need to go here because the Smiths went there, and I need to keep pace."  Sheesh.

As I think through my particular problem, I see immediately that there's no end- I'll never be quenched with an attitude like this.  I keep a list of places I want to see in the UK, and when we got home, I immediately checked off the things we had seen on the trip.  There was little to no reflection on the blessing of it, on how cool it was, or what I experienced- it was more like "That was nice.  What next?"  I can deceive myself and think that once I hit that last place on the list, I'll be satisfied- but it's a lie.  When that happens, I'll make a new list, and the pursuit will begin again.

But what am I pursuing?  That's the question.  Certainly not to see it all- that's impossible.  Is it to see as much as I can?  Maybe . . . but what would that give me in the end?  Does that mean "I win"?  What do I win?  Bragging rights?  Smug self-satisfaction that I'm somehow superior to those less traveled?  Sounds pretty stupid to me.

As I conclude, here's a note to self: cool off and enjoy what you have.  That list you have of sites to see?  Chop it down.  At one time it was at 300 places in the UK.  300.  You've axed 70 so far; axe more.  You will never, ever get to it all- so enjoy what you can and keep your priorities straight.  Life's more than traveling- we have a higher calling.

Okay, gotta plan that next trip.