Jane Eyre (Charlotte Brontë)

I wasn't looking forward to reading Jane Eyre, as I considered it a "girlie book"- the final of the three on my reading list.  I managed to get through Pride and Prejudice and Wuthering Heights, though, so I decided to "man up" and "get it over with."  I was blown away, in a good sense.

Jane Eyre, the narrator of the book, is an orphan raised by her cruel aunt.  Jane's eventually sent to a boarding school, where life is harsh but preferable to the difficulties of her former home.  After school, she becomes a governess, and finds herself falling in love with the master of the house, a Mr. Rochester.  A number of wild turns follow, but further summary would ruin it, so I can say no more.

Like many Victorian classics, Jane Eyre has wonderful, eloquent prose.  You find yourself instantly invested in Jane's story- and you don't know where it's heading (a fact I liked best- the opposite of so many formulaic novels).  You feel her happiness, anguish, longing, or sorrow in due season, so reading will be an emotional ride (though I, being exceedingly manly, never shed a tear, I could see how one could).  It's a good story, well told.

So I conclude the "girlie trilogy."  I have to say, I was surprised how much I enjoyed two of the works- the above and Pride and Prejudice are excellent.  Wuthering Heights has its merits, but doesn't compare to the other two.  I survived, though I feel I should turn in my man card or something.  I better go read a comic book.

Rating: A+

South Wales

Castles beyond counting.  Beautiful coastline.  Bizarre local behavior.  Tank exercises.  There's no end to the mystery when traveling through southern Wales, which my friend and I did over a 3-day blitz vacation.  Read on, intrepid explorer, if you wish to know more.

The Flag of Wales

A Bit of Background

History
The Welsh are the descendants of the original "Britons"- the people who inhabited the island before the Roman era.  When the Romans came, they eventually pushed the locals into (what is now) Wales.  Then the Anglo-Saxons came, and did the same thing.  Then the Normans came, and conquered them more fully.  Then the Plantagenets, who built a bunch of castles in Wales to suppress the populace.  You get the idea.  Basically, the Welsh have been repeatedly destroyed in every encounter they've ever had with anybody.  Like most easily-vanquished nations, the Welsh simply love talking about this, so make sure you bring it up often in conversation.  Phrases like "How about those English?  They know how to conquer people," or "seriously- have any of you ever been successful at anything?" are bound to be conversation starters with the natives.

Language
Due to severe and hysterical clerical errors in Medieval times, the ancient Welsh language passed down throughout the years is an amusing compilation of unintelligible sounds and hilarious spelling failures.  Examples shown in the graphic below.  Don't bother trying to speak it.

Riiiiighht . . . .

Our Trip

My friend and I set off on Friday at 6am from Yorkshire, excited to have a "man-trip."  It's not that we don't love our families; it's just nice to drive somewhere without having to stop every 20 minutes for potty breaks and accident triage.  Thus unencumbered, we had an ambitious itinerary:
Day 1: Drive down/see as much as possible in SW Wales
Day 2: finish SW Wales/drive to SE Wales, stopping for sights of interest
Day 3: See remaining things in SE Wales/drive back

"Sights of interest" in southern Wales are predominantly ruined castles, ruined abbeys, and ruined churches.  (Remember, the Welsh didn't do so well in the victory department . . . ever).  There is also the beautiful Pembrokeshire coast, accessible primarily by driving through a tank training ground (seriously; more on this in a moment).  So, our plans consisted of hitting as many ruined things, and coastline, as we could.  A more detailed report follows.

Day 1
The drive down was uneventful; it's over 300 miles, though, from Yorkshire to SW Wales, so we didn't arrive at our first destination until about 1pm.  The first day, we saw (from west to east):

- St. David's Cathedral
Situated about as far south and west as you can go in Wales, St. David's is really old, and cool.  The cathedral was built on a mild incline, so you're going uphill as you walk towards the altar; the columns are noticeably bowed out due to the weight of the previous roof.  The current roof is a wonderful wood design.  Rating: A

St. David's

The ceiling

- Pembrokeshire Coast
Outstanding coastline awaits you in Pembrokeshire- if you can get to it.  The two best sights in this area, the Green Bridge of Wales (in the "Stack Rocks" area) and St. Govan's Chapel, must be accessed by driving through a tank training ground, which may or may not be open to the public on a given time or day.  Thankfully, we were able to see both, but our initial attempt to see the Green Bridge was halted until tank operations were done for the day.
Rating: A+

View below St. Govan's

St. Govan's Chapel

St. Govan's from above

Our initial attempt to access Stack Rocks was thwarted by tanks.  Yes, tanks.

Stack Rocks

The green bridge of Wales

- Manorbier Castle
An okay castle in beautiful surrounds.
Rating: C

Manorbier Castle

The view from the top of Manorbier

- After Touring
After seeing the above, we attempted to find dinner.  We tried a number of local establishments, each with questionable properties.  One (shown in the following pics) featured a parking lot with (apparently) no rules, as well as a menu dictated by funeral arrangements- whatever that meant (I must confess, I found it quite unnerving that the only dishes served, due to the funeral, were those that featured ground meat).  Another location boasted a hygiene rating of 3/5, implying significant progress.  We also skipped that one.  We finally settled on McDonald's, which (unbeknownst to us until entering) featured the entire population of the town (7500) within its walls (occupancy 35).

We have parking rules for a reason

This really freaked me out

Day 2
We finished up SW Wales and headed east.  In SW Wales, we began with:
- Pembroke Castle
Big, adequate.
Rating: B-

Pembroke Castle

- Shopping
I've met an impressive number of store owners in the UK who apparently aren't in the business of making money.  I had another such experience in Pembroke.  I walked into a store, and saw a product of interest behind the counter.  The owner was present, but absorbed in a computer game- really absorbed.  I got his attention- clearly annoying him- and asked to see the product.  He made several remarks poo-pooing it, but eventually (and reluctantly) handed it to me.  I said I'd take it; he proceeded to ring it up, clearly thinking me a fool for doing business with him.  I agreed.

- Carew Castle
Small, cool.  Bats only in certain sections, by mandate.
Rating: B+

Carew

Bats only.  BATS ONLY!

Carew

On the drive east, we hit:

- Caerphilly Castle
Cool moat. Tower falling over- also cool. 
Rating: B

Caerphilly

Caerphilly

Castles are dangerous.  I hit my head 3 times that day. 

- Castell Coch
Victorian reconstruction.
Rating: C

Castell Coch.  It's aight.

- Welsh Zombie Bar
Too scared to go in.

Mmmm . . . Brains.

- Raglan Castle
I liked it.
Rating: A

Raglan

Love it!

- After Touring
We set out in search of dinner, somewhat nervous from our experience of the prior evening.  The B&B owner recommended a "homey" pub located a 20 minute walk away, past a Church and through a sheep field.  Upon reaching said pub, we walked into a chilli cook-off.  They kindly offered us some, but we declined and sought out a more conventional fare- which we found after another 20 minute walk.  Convenience is an American concept.  The food was good, though, so we couldn't complain.

Church on the way to dinner

After dinner, we retired to a hotel that was built (and last cleaned in) the 1700s.  It was terrifying.  The settling of the house over the centuries made for awkward angles to complement the already-small doorways.  The toilet listed 20 degrees to the left, and its flush was not unlike an aircraft gaining altitude.  Questioning both its symmetry and integrity, I chose to "hold it."

Day 3
Tintern Abbey (Rating: A) and Chepstow Castle (Rating: B-) finished our Welsh experience.  On the ride home, we swung by Gloucester Cathedral (Rating: B) to check out the tombs of King Edward II, some other guy (son of William the Conqueror), and the cloister they used to film several Harry Potter movies.

Tintern

Tintern

Tintern

I liked Tintern

Chepstow

Chepstow

Gloucester

Edward II

Some other guy

Cloister

Maps, by Day
The physical locations of the sites shown above are as listed below.

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

Final Thoughts
Though I was at times weirded out or downright terrified, I enjoyed the trip and would never say no to a return journey.  The coast in SW Wales is beautiful, and castle lovers will have no end of enjoyment.  If you're not a castle or coast lover, be prepared to be bored.

Area Rating: A


 

Robin Hood: Men in Tights

I had to wash Robin & Marian out of my mind, and I turned to 1993's Robin Hood: Men in Tights to do it.  A typical Mel Brooks comedy, Men in Tights is intentionally ridiculous, spoofing a number of movies (mostly Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves), and incorporating anachronisms for increased comedic effect.  It has the same basic plot as Prince of Thieves, so I won't expound on that here- it's the story of Robin Hood, plain and simple.

Like Monty Python, people tend to love or hate Mel Brooks comedy.  I enjoyed it, mostly.  Of course it's stupid- that's the point- but some of the gags elicited a chuckle or an amused groan.  It's not something you'll watch over and over, but it is good for a viewing every decade or so.

Rating: C+

Robin and Marian

Some movies age well; many don't, like Robin and Marian (1976; starring Sean Connery and Audrey Hepburn).  Loosely based on one of the original Robin Hood tales- The Death of Robin Hood- this movie is mostly a love story.  Robin has been away in the Crusades, fighting for King Richard and (upon his death) King John.  He returns and finds Marian a nun, about to give herself up to the sheriff of Nottingham for a reason I didn't quite get (presumably she didn't conform to the evil sheriff's corrupted mandates).  Robin takes Marian into Sherwood Forest, where their love is rekindled after 20 years apart.  It doesn't end well, though; can't say any more than that.

The history is poor, the action is bad (though in keeping with that era of film), and the movie is quite obviously filmed outside of England (in Spain, actually).  I wouldn't have watched it at all, save to satisfy the inexplicable Robin Hood kick I'm on at the moment.  Skip this one.

Rating: D

Batman: King Tut's Tomb (various)

Since Batman comics have been around since 1939, it must get hard to think up original story lines.  That, at least, is my conclusion after finishing Batman: King Tut's Tomb, a graphic novel consisting of four Batman stories collected from a variety of years.  Here's a nutshell overview of each tale:

- A new villain, dressed as King Tut, is killing off a museum's board of directors.  Batman must team up with Riddler to unmask the threat and restore peace to Gotham.
- Batman and Hawkman unite to restore a sacred relic to an alien race of pure energy beings.
- Batman is hypnotized to go back in time and work with Scalphunter to save a medical shipment during the U.S. Civil War.
- Batman works to prevent Joker from destroying a large tract of land outside of Gotham.

The tales were either boring, cookie-cutter, or downright strange.  Not much here save for the die-hard Bats fan.

Rating: C-

Magic: The Gathering

 The game that started a genre!  In 1993, Magic: The Gathering released its first set of cards, and the gaming world was forever changed. Magic was the first "collectible" card game (I describe this genre here), and its popularity created an industry.  If you enjoy collectible card or miniature games of any kind, thank Magic for its role in starting it all.

The Object

In Magic, you and your opponent(s) each build a deck of Magic cards (the standard game has 60-card decks).   You then use those decks to battle each other to victory, the goal being to get your opponent(s) to 0 life (you each start with 20).   

Building a Deck

The deck consists of resource cards and spell cards.

Resource cards (generally land cards) produce "mana," which is required to pay for spell cards.  Each card produces mana per turn.  There are five types of mana in the game, corresponding to five colors (white, blue, black, red, green), shown below.  Every spell card in the game has a cost, and will require one (or more) colors and quantities of mana to play.  Generally, the higher the cost, the more powerful the card's effect.  You can have any number of land cards in your deck.

 

This card produces one white mana every turn

Spell cards in your deck help you win by either protecting yourself or attacking your opponent.  There are several types of spells: creature, enchantment, sorcery, instant, artifact, or planeswalker (several examples shown below).  Each spell gives you some advantage, and the best decks will choose spells that synergize well together. You can have no more than 4 copies of a given spell in your deck.

To be successful, there has to be a balance between resource and spell cards.  Too few resources will prohibit you from playing your more expensive spells; too many will mean fewer spells to play.

The Gameplay

Each player draws 7 cards at the start.  After choosing who goes first, players alternate turns.  On a turn, you draw a card, play one resource card, and use any resources you have (indicated by turning the card sideways, or "tapping") to play spell cards.  You can use each resource card only once per turn.  Some spells (like creatures or enchantments) stay on the table; others (sorceries or instants) have abilities that resolve right away, and are afterwards discarded (and put into a "graveyard").  After the spell cards are played, there's a battle phase, where your creatures can attack your opponent's creatures, or your opponent directly (if they have no creatures on the table).  All creatures have an attack and defense value (a 2/3 creature will do 2 damage when attacking, and can take 3 damage before dying), and to win, you must do at least 20 damage to your opponent directly.  Generally, that means first dealing with their creatures on the table (since those creatures are "blocking" your opponent from taking direct damage).  Creatures are important, but it's not all about them- many spells can do damage to your opponent directly, or give you life, or do any number of other things that makes the game interactive, strategic, and exciting.  Good decks will generally feature cards that do different things, and are hence able to deal with a number of situations presented by the opponent.

The Expansions

The first release was enjoyable enough, and provided thousands of card combination possibilities for deck building.  However, one feature of a collectible game is that it's ever-expanding, and always giving new options.  With that in mind, new Magic cards are released several times a year, in sets or "expansions."   Each expansion (generally consisting of hundreds of cards) adds more cards to the pool of possibilities.  To date, over 75 expansions have been produced, plus a host of special collections (set information available here).  Expansions are often released in blocks of three, with a unifying theme between them.  The upcoming sets, for example, will be loosely based on Greek mythology.

There's no end in sight for Magic cards

Thoughts on the Game

The good: Twenty years in, Magic is still going strong, with an estimated 12 million players worldwide. It's unquestionably at the top of the collectible gaming world.  Over the years, the rules have been tightened and clarified, the expansions have given a host of options, and the player support community is second to none.  It's a relatively simple and fast game, and a clear winner.  Deck construction is an art, and exercises the brain wonderfully.  There are many different ways to play (see formats here), making a different experience every single time.  Monopoly this is not.

The bad: Magic is expensive if you want to play competitively- really expensive.  If you don't have such aspirations, you can get a healthy collection of cards for more reasonable prices- but you'll still shell out a lot of cash.  Strategically, Magic is wonderful, but does suffer from a few things; most notably, "mana flood" or "mana shortage."  Since you can play only one land card per turn, if you miss playing a land card on turn X, you could be playing catch-up.  Similarly, you could have tons of land on the table but too few spells in-hand, leading to the opposite problem.  This issue can be managed through good deck construction, but it can squelch the fun of a game.  Finally, deck construction, while fun, can take forever. 

Conclusion

If you like collectible card games, you'll probably love Magic: the Gathering.  There's not a lot of fault to find here.

Some resources:
Official Site
Card Database
One Magic Forum 
Rules
Formats 

Rating: A