South Wales

Castles beyond counting.  Beautiful coastline.  Bizarre local behavior.  Tank exercises.  There's no end to the mystery when traveling through southern Wales, which my friend and I did over a 3-day blitz vacation.  Read on, intrepid explorer, if you wish to know more.

The Flag of Wales

A Bit of Background

History
The Welsh are the descendants of the original "Britons"- the people who inhabited the island before the Roman era.  When the Romans came, they eventually pushed the locals into (what is now) Wales.  Then the Anglo-Saxons came, and did the same thing.  Then the Normans came, and conquered them more fully.  Then the Plantagenets, who built a bunch of castles in Wales to suppress the populace.  You get the idea.  Basically, the Welsh have been repeatedly destroyed in every encounter they've ever had with anybody.  Like most easily-vanquished nations, the Welsh simply love talking about this, so make sure you bring it up often in conversation.  Phrases like "How about those English?  They know how to conquer people," or "seriously- have any of you ever been successful at anything?" are bound to be conversation starters with the natives.

Language
Due to severe and hysterical clerical errors in Medieval times, the ancient Welsh language passed down throughout the years is an amusing compilation of unintelligible sounds and hilarious spelling failures.  Examples shown in the graphic below.  Don't bother trying to speak it.

Riiiiighht . . . .

Our Trip

My friend and I set off on Friday at 6am from Yorkshire, excited to have a "man-trip."  It's not that we don't love our families; it's just nice to drive somewhere without having to stop every 20 minutes for potty breaks and accident triage.  Thus unencumbered, we had an ambitious itinerary:
Day 1: Drive down/see as much as possible in SW Wales
Day 2: finish SW Wales/drive to SE Wales, stopping for sights of interest
Day 3: See remaining things in SE Wales/drive back

"Sights of interest" in southern Wales are predominantly ruined castles, ruined abbeys, and ruined churches.  (Remember, the Welsh didn't do so well in the victory department . . . ever).  There is also the beautiful Pembrokeshire coast, accessible primarily by driving through a tank training ground (seriously; more on this in a moment).  So, our plans consisted of hitting as many ruined things, and coastline, as we could.  A more detailed report follows.

Day 1
The drive down was uneventful; it's over 300 miles, though, from Yorkshire to SW Wales, so we didn't arrive at our first destination until about 1pm.  The first day, we saw (from west to east):

- St. David's Cathedral
Situated about as far south and west as you can go in Wales, St. David's is really old, and cool.  The cathedral was built on a mild incline, so you're going uphill as you walk towards the altar; the columns are noticeably bowed out due to the weight of the previous roof.  The current roof is a wonderful wood design.  Rating: A

St. David's

The ceiling

- Pembrokeshire Coast
Outstanding coastline awaits you in Pembrokeshire- if you can get to it.  The two best sights in this area, the Green Bridge of Wales (in the "Stack Rocks" area) and St. Govan's Chapel, must be accessed by driving through a tank training ground, which may or may not be open to the public on a given time or day.  Thankfully, we were able to see both, but our initial attempt to see the Green Bridge was halted until tank operations were done for the day.
Rating: A+

View below St. Govan's

St. Govan's Chapel

St. Govan's from above

Our initial attempt to access Stack Rocks was thwarted by tanks.  Yes, tanks.

Stack Rocks

The green bridge of Wales

- Manorbier Castle
An okay castle in beautiful surrounds.
Rating: C

Manorbier Castle

The view from the top of Manorbier

- After Touring
After seeing the above, we attempted to find dinner.  We tried a number of local establishments, each with questionable properties.  One (shown in the following pics) featured a parking lot with (apparently) no rules, as well as a menu dictated by funeral arrangements- whatever that meant (I must confess, I found it quite unnerving that the only dishes served, due to the funeral, were those that featured ground meat).  Another location boasted a hygiene rating of 3/5, implying significant progress.  We also skipped that one.  We finally settled on McDonald's, which (unbeknownst to us until entering) featured the entire population of the town (7500) within its walls (occupancy 35).

We have parking rules for a reason

This really freaked me out

Day 2
We finished up SW Wales and headed east.  In SW Wales, we began with:
- Pembroke Castle
Big, adequate.
Rating: B-

Pembroke Castle

- Shopping
I've met an impressive number of store owners in the UK who apparently aren't in the business of making money.  I had another such experience in Pembroke.  I walked into a store, and saw a product of interest behind the counter.  The owner was present, but absorbed in a computer game- really absorbed.  I got his attention- clearly annoying him- and asked to see the product.  He made several remarks poo-pooing it, but eventually (and reluctantly) handed it to me.  I said I'd take it; he proceeded to ring it up, clearly thinking me a fool for doing business with him.  I agreed.

- Carew Castle
Small, cool.  Bats only in certain sections, by mandate.
Rating: B+

Carew

Bats only.  BATS ONLY!

Carew

On the drive east, we hit:

- Caerphilly Castle
Cool moat. Tower falling over- also cool. 
Rating: B

Caerphilly

Caerphilly

Castles are dangerous.  I hit my head 3 times that day. 

- Castell Coch
Victorian reconstruction.
Rating: C

Castell Coch.  It's aight.

- Welsh Zombie Bar
Too scared to go in.

Mmmm . . . Brains.

- Raglan Castle
I liked it.
Rating: A

Raglan

Love it!

- After Touring
We set out in search of dinner, somewhat nervous from our experience of the prior evening.  The B&B owner recommended a "homey" pub located a 20 minute walk away, past a Church and through a sheep field.  Upon reaching said pub, we walked into a chilli cook-off.  They kindly offered us some, but we declined and sought out a more conventional fare- which we found after another 20 minute walk.  Convenience is an American concept.  The food was good, though, so we couldn't complain.

Church on the way to dinner

After dinner, we retired to a hotel that was built (and last cleaned in) the 1700s.  It was terrifying.  The settling of the house over the centuries made for awkward angles to complement the already-small doorways.  The toilet listed 20 degrees to the left, and its flush was not unlike an aircraft gaining altitude.  Questioning both its symmetry and integrity, I chose to "hold it."

Day 3
Tintern Abbey (Rating: A) and Chepstow Castle (Rating: B-) finished our Welsh experience.  On the ride home, we swung by Gloucester Cathedral (Rating: B) to check out the tombs of King Edward II, some other guy (son of William the Conqueror), and the cloister they used to film several Harry Potter movies.

Tintern

Tintern

Tintern

I liked Tintern

Chepstow

Chepstow

Gloucester

Edward II

Some other guy

Cloister

Maps, by Day
The physical locations of the sites shown above are as listed below.

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

Final Thoughts
Though I was at times weirded out or downright terrified, I enjoyed the trip and would never say no to a return journey.  The coast in SW Wales is beautiful, and castle lovers will have no end of enjoyment.  If you're not a castle or coast lover, be prepared to be bored.

Area Rating: A