Skyfall

Skyfall, the latest installment (23rd, I believe) in the Bond franchise, was released late in 2012, the 50th anniversary of the first Bond film's release.  Many hailed Skyfall as an amazing film, the best Bond in years, and a revitalization of the franchise.  I don't agree with them- read on for spoiler-laden explanation of the issues I have with this film.

The plot of Skyfall: a MI6 laptop has been stolen- one that happens to have the true identities of many field agents.  Bond is enlisted to get it back, and tracks down the thief.  He discovers that this person, Silva, is a former agent, and is passionately bent on vengeance towards M, who made operational decisions in the distant past that have left Silva physically and psychologically scarred. The rest of the film is Bond chasing Silva, while Silva chases M.

Here are my beefs with this film:
1) early in the film, Bond is shot while on a moving train, falling off the train, hundreds of meters, into a roaring river.  He's presumed dead for several months.  Later, Bond returns, apparently having recovered from his shot/fall/drowning having lost a step, but nothing more.  No explanation is given for this, which I found odd.

2) the story has many elements that appear to have been "lifted" from Christopher Nolan's Batman Begins and The Dark Knight.  Here are the ones I noticed:
   a) Silva, the main villain, is uncannily similar to the Joker, in both physical deformity, temperament, and abilities (he's one step ahead of everyone the whole time, and has resources in all places)
   b) The portion of the movie in Shanghai is eerily reminiscent of the Hong Kong scenes in the Dark Knight
   c) The portion of the movie in Macau has echoes of Bruce Wayne's training grounds in Batman Begins
   d) The music in one scene sounds almost exactly like Hans Zimmer's Dark Knight soundtrack

3) the story seems to "veer off."  Initially, Silva tells M he'll release the names of 5 agents a week.  I assumed the rest of the movie would have various progressions in this area, but you see that happen only once . . . and then the story just drops that plot line and becomes an extended cat-and-mouse chase sequence. 

4) the story seems anticlimactic.  Silva has tremendous assets at his disposal- he blows up a portion of MI6 headquarters, escapes a maximum security holding cell, hacks MI6's network and decrypts the hard drive containing names of agents.  With that power, what is his goal?  Just harassing/killing M.  No "take over the world" or "watch the world burn"- type objective: just making M pay for her "crimes."  Why go to all that trouble just to try to kill M?  I could get humiliation, but again, he broadcasts only one set of agents, rather than drawing it out and forcing M to choose between public humiliation/death and the continued exposure/death of agents.  The end of the movie especially is just him chasing M . . . the power he had was wasted.

Overall, I wasn't impressed, though I'm clearly in the minority here.  However, you may be surprised to know that I would recommend watching this movie.  Why?  One reason: the cinematography is phenomenal.  The movie is truly a visual masterpiece- it just falls down in every other area.  The best Bond movie in recent memory is still, I believe, Casino Royale.

Rating: B-

The Avengers

The Avengers, by Joss Whedon, is the culmination of a multi-year, multi-film effort by Marvel Studios to present "Earth's mightiest heroes" in one movie.  Many individual superhero movies built up to this one-  Captain America, Thor, Iron Man, Iron Man 2, and the Incredible Hulk films set up the story, and will increase your enjoyment of The Avengers, though if you haven't seen any of them, you'll still enjoy this flick.

The highest-grossing superhero movie of all time, The Avengers gets a lot of things right, but I'll start with where it falls down: the overall story.  The plot has some holes, and isn't overly original: an alien army is unleashed on Earth, and the Avengers have to overcome their initial distrust of each other to team together and counter the threat.  What makes this movie successful isn't the story- it's the execution.  The dialogue is often quite good, with humor well-dispersed throughout (ironically, that's what appeals to me most about this film).  Every character has his/her moments, but Iron Man steals the show as the wise-cracking superhero from the first two Iron Man films.  The action is also good.  I'm not into action movies for the sake of the action itself- there has to be a point to it- but I did enjoy the battle scenes in this one- especially the creativity with which the characters teamed to take out bad guys in some scenes.

After my initial viewing, I rated this an A-.  After further viewings, though, I find myself enjoying it more and more, despite the unoriginal plot.  Marvel (and Joss Whedon) scored a hit with this one, and many more such movies are in the works.  In 2013 alone, we're scheduled to see Captain America 2, Thor 2, Iron Man 3, and the next Avengers installment is due in a year or two.

Rating: A

The Usborne History of Britain

As an overview history book, there's really not a lot to discuss here- we know how the story ends.  This is the third "Brit history" book I've read in the last few years, and the best (the other two are reviewed here).  Though geared towards a younger audience, there's an awful lot of information in here.  Some things I enjoyed:

- some Brit history books pay little to no lip service to the period before William the Conqueror, in 1066.  This one covers the Roman and Anglo-Saxon/Viking period in a little more depth.
- each page is a topic.  It makes the reading choppy- you're not reading one long narrative- but it is informative, and it's easy to read in short bursts, as time allows.
- it's heavy on the graphics.  Each page has a variety of drawings, photos, or maps to help describe the topic.

The only thing that bothered me was the title.  Like almost every other history book that calls itself "a history of Britain," this is heavily focused on the English, and pays little homage to the Welsh, Scottish, or Irish.  That aside, if you're interested in learning British history, I'd recommend this as a starting point.

Rating: A

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (John le Carre)

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy is not your typical spy novel.  There are no high-speed car chases, or scenes of overt violence or sex.  It's a story of a man, George Smiley, called back from retirement to weed out a suspected mole in the highest levels of the "Circus" (the British Intelligence Agency).  The majority of the novel is Smiley piecing together the identity of the mole through a variety of investigations- old files, interviews, etc.

There are elements of this I really enjoyed.  Like the recently-released movie, this book really forced you to interact- it doesn't "hold your hand" and walk you through the story.  Many subtle insinuations within the story are made, which (for me) was both good and bad- I like a little hand-holding now and again.  Jargon is thrown around with no explanation- though to be fair, this is the fifth book in the series, so starting with it wasn't the brightest idea (see here for a list of some of the terms).  Despite the lack of "chase scenes" and the like, le Carre maintains suspense and interest in the novel, which impressed me.  The gloomy, Cold War atmosphere is well done, and overall, I was pleased.  A worthy read, though I believe le Carre's earlier work, The Spy Who Came in from the Cold, is better.

Rating: B

Star Wars: The Card Game

As previously posted (here), card games are near and dear to my heart- especially "collectible" or "living" card games.  Star wars, of course, is also high on my list, so combining the two is a rare treat indeed.  Here, I look at the recently-released Star Wars: The Card Game, by Fantasy Flight games (official website here).

Game Overview

In Star Wars: The Card Game, you take on the role of either the light side (hereafter, LS) or dark side (DS) in the struggle for control of the Star Wars galaxy.  Essentially, you win by destroying your opponent’s objectives (actually, the victory conditions are asymmetric; the LS wins by destroying three DS objectives; the DS wins when the Death Star dials reaches 12.  However, whenever the DS destroys a LS objective, the dial advances, so destroying objectives is really the point).

Generally, you use “units” (characters, droids, starships, and vehicles) to destroy your opponent’s objectives (and protect your own).  Each unit has icons on it that enable it to do one (or more) of three things:

- Damage your opponent’s objectives
- Damage your opponent’s units
- “Exhaust” your opponent’s units (render them unusable for one or more turns)

Each turn, you field units, and attack your opponent’s objectives (and their units, if they choose to defend an objective with them).  Then, your opponent does the same.  You take turns until one side is victorious.  There’s more to it than that- other types of cards enhance play and “edge battles” add an element to the game, for example- but it’s the gist of things.

Factions and Deck Construction

Each game must be LS vs. DS, but within each side, there are 3 factions.  The LS has the Rebel Alliance, the Jedi, and Smugglers & Spies.  The DS has the Imperial Navy, the Sith, and Scum & Villainy.  On a given side, you can construct a deck with several factions, but generally sticking to one faction increases your deck’s synergy and effectiveness. 

Deck construction is unique.  In most card games featuring custom decks, you pick each card individually when you’re building the deck.  Here, instead, you pick objective sets- a set of 6 cards, featuring 1 objective card, and a mix of 5 other cards (units or enhancements).  So, when it comes to deck building, you choose 10 objective sets, for a total of 60 cards, and you’re done. 

Initial Thoughts

I’ve played only a few times, so I can’t say I have a 100% accurate feel for the game, but my initial impressions have been largely positive:

- The objective element is good; each objective provides resources, so each player starts off with the ability to play (potentially) powerful cards.  Most objectives also provide a condition that alters game play, which makes for a good, interactive experience.

- I enjoyed the overall combat experience, and I really like the three different icons units can have on them.  Each icon has its advantages, and makes the combat interesting.  It’s not just a “strength vs. strength” contest, like many card games.  One of the icons- the one that “exhausts” other units- can (potentially) exhaust a unit for multiple turns, which is a really interesting feature.

- Deck construction is much easier than a normal game, and it’s nice to be able to build decks so swiftly.  Also, the factions add a nice amount of variety without overly complicating things.

Not everything about the game is peachy.  Here are some things that bother me:

- The combat makes no distinction between characters and vehicles; in other words, you can have Han Solo fight a Star Destroyer.  That gives the game, at times, odd or ridiculous match-ups.

- The game fails to capture the epic nature of Star Wars- you can’t really build up fleets (or armies).  You could deploy Darth Vader in turn 1 and lose him in turn 2.  Units are quick to be deployed and destroyed.  It makes game play exciting, but it fails to get an epic feel to it as a result.

- Deck construction, while nice, also prohibits a customized distribution of card types.  If, for example, I like putting lots of starships in my deck, I won’t be able to, because (to date) no objective set is starship-heavy; only one or two ships may exist in a set.  This may be “fixed” in future releases.

- The game has a bit of a learning curve.  There are several kinds of tokens, and some game concepts take a while to grasp.  It’s not bad, after a time or two, but it can turn away potential players.

Conclusion

Concerns aside, the game is worthwhile, and I anticipate increased enjoyment when new installments are released in the coming months.

Rating: A-

 

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

Ah, the difference between an American and British spy film.  I first saw Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy the day before seeing Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, and the differences couldn't be starker.  The latter is a typical American spy thriller- lots of action, and that's about it- all fluff.  The former, however, is the opposite- almost no action; instead, a very cerebral film.  It doesn't spoon feed you, like many American films- you have to engage with the movie, and infer things based on hints.  The hero, George Smiley, is introspective and contemplative- he spends a good chunk of the movie in deep thought, trying to determine the identity of the mole who has infiltrated "the Circus," or British Intelligence.  The acting is superb- this movie is the first I've seen in a long time where I felt like I was watching masters of the trade.  Overall, it's not for everyone, but it is worthwhile.

Rating: A-

Thoughts on Potter

Phew!   As previously posted, I just finished the Harry Potter saga.  While its still fresh in my mind, I thought it wise to post a few comments regarding the series as a whole, looking at what I liked, and what I didn't, at a high level.

Things I liked about the Harry Potter series:
- The story was extremely well-knit; Rowling must have had quite a vision, as events and previously unclear happenings from earlier books all came together and made sense as the story progressed.
- The series was finite.  A common issue (with both TV and books) is for success to cause the authors to draw things out.  At that point, the creator loses control of the story, and allows fame/money/etc to take control and dictate choices.  I applaud Rowling for ending it when she intended, and not succumbing to that temptation.
- The series had a satisfying conclusion.  The reader is left, if anything, wanting more, or (at least) being satisfied.  Again, some successful series drone on and on, to the point where you want it to end.  

Things I didn't care for about the series:
- The relatively predictable plot/ending.  This is a problem with most everyone, so it's not a Rowling-specific criticism.  The good guy wins, the bad guy gets it, almost everyone close to the good guy survives, etc. etc.  I will say this: Rowling does an extremely good job with an oft-told story.  I just wish people would tell different stories.  But, perhaps, we as humans like the same story, over and over- a seemingly-weak novice takes on a formidable enemy and prevails. 
- Potter & co. going off on quests without informing the (trustworthy) teachers.  It happened a lot in the first few books especially, and it got old (to me).  I get that they learned not to trust certain individuals, but there were those on whom they could always rely, but chose not to.
- The relative lack of wisdom throughout the books.  Dumbledore got some great lines, but this was mostly an adventure tale.  I always appreciate it when the author can throw in simple (or complex) morals/themes/thoughts on human nature into their stories- it adds a dimension to the adventure; it makes it worth reading for more than just the story.  While the story arc was excellent, I felt it fell short in that regard.


Other thoughts:
- Reading all seven books within a space of two months has tremendous advantages, and it reinforces my current stance on book/TV series: I don't read/watch until the entire set is complete. Keeping it all fresh in your mind helps you better appreciate the cohesiveness of the story- had I read them years apart, I would have missed some of that.
- This is a children's series.  I had to keep reminding myself of that, as I wished it would turn into a more sweeping, epic tale.

Overall, the Harry Potter saga is well worth your time.  Here are links to my review of each book:
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Now, I'm wondering how the movies turned out.  Perhaps I'll watch them soon . . .

Series Rating: A+

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (JK Rowling)

 And so we come to the end of the Harry Potter saga.  In keeping with the rest of my Harry Potter books reviews, I won't review much of this one, because
1) I'm lazy, and
2) Any sort of in-depth review would require divulging elements that may ruin things

And so, I'll just say this: it was an amazing ending.  It all comes together in this one, and it was planned (and written) wonderfully.  At times, I thought it moved too fast, and that  may be, but looking back, it was probably for the best.

I'll end with an odd thought that flitted across my mind as I read: Harry Potter is a High School Dropout.

Rating: A+

A Purchasing Guide for New Parents

image from here

Expecting your first child?  Congratulations!  Children are God's way of reminding us just how precious, amazing, rebellious, ungrateful, and annoying we as humans can be.  Having been a parent for all of three years now, I'm something of an expert.  That said, I've graciously decided to pass on my wisdom to you and all soon-to-be parents.  Specifically, today I answer the ever-important question, "What do I buy to prepare for children?"  My words will no doubt go far in guiding you in how you direct your finances.  Because children, you'll soon realize, are expensive beyond all get-out.

Now, to be fair, it's not entirely their fault.  Mostly their fault, yes, but not entirely.  Modern man has made this considerably tougher, and you'll see why below.  Recent regulations + Internet-aided hysteria make shopping an extremely enjoyable experience for all around.  I helpfully break down purchases into the most common categories, to peruse or ignore at your leisure.

Car Seats
In the '50s, a laundry basket, carefully padded with blankets, was sufficient to store your child in the back seat- a cage was also acceptable.  That was before the hippies were in charge.  Now, like everything else, choosing the right car seat is extremely important, and if you guess wrong (e.g. spend less than $450), you will place your child in mortal peril.

Your basic modern car seat is most accurately compared to the captain's console on the Starship Enterprise.  The seat must be capable of facing forward or backward, and at various angles, to ensure safety.  A wide array of gadgets must flank your child, to give him or her a wide variety of in-drive entertainment options, each of which is designed to distract the driver long enough to create a tense and dangerous atmosphere on the motorways.  The frame of the seat should be designed to resist all installation attempts, and should require at least 10 curse words and 200lbs of force on it before you can secure it in the vehicle according to the manufacturer's recommended specification.  The fabric of the seat should absorb spit-up and hide cheerios easily.  In general, as long as the car seat takes up more room than you, a full-grown adult, you're probably okay.

Strollers
Don't fall into the trap- stroller shopping is not easy.  Like me, perhaps you thought that upon birth, you'd be issued a cheap, collapsible umbrella stroller with only three working wheels, which would get you through 3-5 children, easy (at least, our parents somehow managed it).  The other wheel would stick at odd angles or fall off, but careful balancing and physical effort overcame this minor obstacle.  So little did I understand.

Modern stroller shopping is like shopping for a car- and you'll spend about the same, too.  Thankfully, there are many good brands out there, so as long as you get something with adjustable straps, multiple seating arrangements, anti-lock brakes, side-impact airbags, an ejection seat, heated handlebars, iPod docking station, Starbucks coffee cup holder, 35mpg (city),  three full baths, and two miles from the beach, you'll be fine.  Expect to spend between $700-$2.6 Million.

Cribs
Cribs consist of two components: the crib itself and the mattress.  For the crib itself, you have a few options:
1) buy a crib.  Don't get one with a drop-down side; it can malfunction.  Don't get one with slats; kids can get stuck in them.  Don't get one with solid wood- kids can suffocate.  In fact, most cribs are (apparently) recalled after a few years.  Just remember, no matter what crib you buy, it's horribly unsafe.  Feel better?
2) build a crib.  This is possible, but few have the skill or desire.
3) throw the kid on horse blankets in the corner.  Probably your best bet.

Now, on to the mattress.  According to the FDA, ADA, American Children's Association, and the National Rifle Association, your best bet for a mattress is one made entirely of organic, hand-picked cotton, constructed by free-range, well-compensated unicorns working in Fern Gully.  Anything else contains harmful CHEMICALS that will be HORRIBLY PROBLEMATIC and no doubt cause irreparable BRAIN DAMAGE.  Those horse blankets are looking better and better.

Toys
Make sure plastic toys are BPA-free.  BPA is a chemical proven, in large doses, to give lab rats the irresistible urge to enroll in graduate-level art history courses, so it's understandably been outlawed.  Wood toys are okay, but make sure the paint/glaze has been applied by only ordained ministers.  Make sure toys are age-appropriate; if you get this wrong, your child may mutate and grow a third arm or something.  Also, if you value your well-being, under no circumstance give your child anything that makes noise.  Ignore me at your peril.

Diapers
Some new parents are tempted to buy cloth diapers.  We went through this phase, too, but soon realized the advantages of not having to run feces-soaked articles through the same machine we use to launder our (marginally) presentable clothing.  Kids, especially newborns, go through about 25 diapers an hour, and have a well-honed survival mechanism that enables them to vacate a small portion of their bowels upon sensing a new diaper.  They can repeat this up to 5 times in a row.  Don't get upset- it's their way of contributing to the family; to making their presence felt.  It's best, for the first few months, to give up and put some newspaper down.

Clothing
Don't buy your children clothing- that's what friends and relatives are for.  Here's a handy tip: don't tell anyone the gender of the baby you're having.  People, in their haste to lavish gifts upon you, will buy you neutral-colored apparel (yellow/green).  Then, when your child is born, those same people will buy gender-appropriate colors.  Just make sure that, whatever they buy, it's flame-retardant, waterproof, wind-resistant, 100% natural, sufficiently ventilated, and appropriately warming, or there's a good chance your child will develop severe social problems.

Final Thoughts
If you have any questions at all, anything, please just do an Internet search.  The Internet has all the answers.  You can trust me- you're reading this on the Internet.  You'll find all sorts of helpful resources online, each of which will tell you that, no matter what, your child is doomed.  It doesn't matter how healthy, how organic, how natural, or how safe your things are, somebody, somewhere had a horrible experience with it, and is more than happy to blog about it online.  Just remember: whatever happened to them is bound to happen to you.  There is no escape.  Embrace your destiny.

You are going to love being a parent.

Batman: Black Mirror (Scott Snyder)

Batman: Black Mirror is a dark tale.  Really dark.  If you're not into dark, don't read it.  But, it's really good, so well worth it if you can stomach it.  Dead children.  A killer whale in the lobby of Gotham's newest bank.  A black-market dealer auctioning off relics from Gotham's criminal underworld.  A psychopath  returned to Gotham, claiming repentance. What's going on here?  Can Batman figure it out?  What do you think?  In essence, it's a basic story, but well told, with plenty of creepy elements thrown in for good measure.

Rating: A+

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (JK Rowling)

It's year 6 at Hogwarts for Harry Potter, and his time at school is nearing an end- just two more years to go.  But, this time, the story take a noticeable turn.  Voldemort has returned, there's war between him and the Ministry, and tension is increasing all around.  This book has less about the school year and more about Harry learning Voldemort's back-story than anything else, though we do also get a dash of romance thrown in.  A shocking death is in store . . . can Harry survive?  It's reasonable to expect that answer is 'yes,' as one book remains, but someone important passes away nonetheless. . .

Like this others, this is a good work.  Not as many twists or surprises as some previous, and markedly different, but quite good.  I do want to find out how the story ends- but I'm glad it's ending soon.

Rating: A

King Arthur

Next up on my "I'm sick so I'm watching movies" marathon: King Arthur.  Claiming to be a more historically-accurate re-telling of the legend, the tale involves said king before he was crowned, when he was a knight in the employ of the Romans.  The Saxons invade through Scotland (what?), and Arthur must beat them back with a handful of native Britons and small band of his vaunted knights.  Does he succeed?  What do you think?

I'm rapidly finding that, the more I read, the less I enjoy many movies.  Having read a good deal about King Arthur recently, this just didn't do it for me.  I enjoyed it more than I thought I would, but not enough to watch a second time.  One final comment: I hate it when movies claim to be historic, or nearly so, and then aren't anywhere close. 

Rating: C+

Kingdom of Heaven

Being out of commission the past few days has enabled me to enjoy more movies and books than I would normally.  Having a few DVDs I've never viewed, I decided now was the ideal time.  First up: Kingdom of Heaven, a Ridley Scott-directed epic set during the Crusades.

Kingdom of Heaven is the story of Balian (Orlando Bloom), a French blacksmith who's just lost his wife and son.  His unknown father (Liam Neeson) turns up one day, says "I'm rich and I'm your dad, why don't you come fight in the Crusades with me."  Balian says, "cool," and joins him.  They go down to the Holy Land, encounter friends and foes on both sides of the conflict, and act valiantly, rally the people, blah blah blah.

As you've no doubt gathered, I didn't care for this one.  The fight scenes were okay, but having a rudimentary historical knowledge of the period, I found a lot to pick on.  The story and characters seemed weak, many plot points implausible, and overall, this one just didn't do it for me.

Rating: C-

Notes from the Underground (Fyodor Dostoevsky)

Having loved Crime and Punishment, I was excited to read more by Dostoevsky.  Unfortunately, Notes from the Underground didn't do too much for me.  Considered a forerunner of the existentialist movement, it centers on an extremely bitter man and his notes on life and relationships.  There are some gems in here, for certain, but on the whole, I found it a rambling, somewhat incoherent work. Crime and Punishment was far superior. 

Rating: C

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (JK Rowling)

 I'm rather ill this evening, so I'll allow my friend, Cornelius Applebottom, to do this post, in interview style.

CA: What did you think of the fifth Harry Potter book?
APS: It was good, thanks.  Very good.  But, I felt this one fell victim to something common in highly successful series- it grew to be too long.  The 870 pages still flew by, but I was left feeling "over-full."  A good friend once told me to always leave the people wanting more, and this time, I just wanted it to end.

CA: Length alone is not a crime- I suspect there's a deeper reason.  Other than length, why did you want it to end?
APS: Insightful question.  The initial thing that really, really made me mad was the character of Dolores Umbridge.  Anger, of course, was the point, but it really struck a chord in me, and at one point, I wanted to stop reading. 

CA: On that note, is it true that you even picked up Pride & Prejudice at one point, rather than read on?
APS: I'm not answering that question.

CA: Further, is it true that, though you read only 2% of P&P, you actually enjoyed it?
APS: Shaddup.

CA: I'm going to need your man card.
APS: Look, we're getting off topic.  The other thing that bothered me seemed to be the plot- it grew long, and ended with some untied ends.  I'm sure they'll be tied in the next book, but it seemed that Rowling let this one get away from her just a tad.

CA: It sounds like you didn't enjoy it.
APS: No, I really did- just not quite as much as the first four books.  I am a tad concerned the series has peaked- my favorite so far is book three- but it's still worth reading.

CA: But you'd rather read Pride & Prejudice.
APS: I'm going to bed.

Rating: A