Most readers know that my family and I have been living in a state of transition for 2.5 months now. Yesterday, we were going to close on a house and take a big step towards routine and normalcy . . . but due to others' errors, we have to wait another few weeks. I'm very angry, frustrated, and tired . . . but should I be? In a sense, yes, it is justified, but I have to keep things in perspective.
Let's face it: we, the rich western world, have lost a lot of perspective. In general, our prosperity has increased to the point that most of our anxieties center on things which are, in the end, trivial matters. Can I feed, clothe, shelter, and support my family? Do I have employment? Do I have a base of caring friends/family upon which I can rely? The answer to these questions is 'yes' . . . so what is my problem? Why do I tend to get angry over things like poor drivers, inconvenient parking, or non-ideal situations? Why does waiting an extra week or two for my home seem to be such a big deal? It's because I'm spoiled. I've lost the sense of what matters in life; I daresay most of us have.
When I look at my children, I see the perspective problem in full force. Most of their meltdowns are about unbelievably stupid matters. "I want a different color fork." "I have only 2000000 toys, and I need that one I don't have." I look at them, mouth agape, and think "how can they get so worked up over such stupid stuff?" Then, later in the day, we go out for a drive, and I'm behind someone going 5mph below the speed limit. I simmer . . . "How dare that person drive so slowly!" "Woe is me!" "We might take 3 more minutes to get home!" Fool that I am . . . I do the same thing. I wonder how that starving child looks upon my plight. And I wonder how God looks at us- those who He's blessed so much- whining about what we do.
When the movers were packing up our belongings in England, I went through a now-familiar emotional cycle: excitement at what lay ahead, anxiety about what must be done to get there, and exhaustion as we progressed through each task. I spent more time in the 'anxious' and 'exhausted' departments, and was getting tired of it all- I just wanted it to be done, and was in a mild state of depression. I had occasional dead time with the movers, which I filled by reading Endurance (reviewed here)- the story of Shackleton's amazing Antarctic survival story. All at once, the 'trial' of moving became very trivial indeed. I thought I was having a bad day?! How about that group of people stuck for years in a wasteland? Suddenly, this 'horrible' move seemed rather easy indeed, and as I sat in my now-empty house eating takeout on paper plates, I couldn't help but think how blessed I was.
Like I experienced with the move, reading has proven helpful in correcting perspective problems. Reading history, especially, shows us just how good we have it. Right now, I'm reading All Quiet on the Western Front- a fictional account of a soldier's experience in WWI. Today is 19 July. Nine days from now, we commemorate 100 years since WWI began. That conflict killed 15-17 million people and destroyed the life of millions more. Even those who survived were permanently affected/impaired in irrevocable ways. Am I angry that I have to wait for a house? Yes, but it's lessening . . . and as I read more accounts of war and other horrible events, I start to feel very small when I complain about anything in my life.
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| WWI photo . . . they had some justifiable grievances |
Yes, we have to wait for our home. Chances are, by the time we finally move in, it will be a full 3 months since we last had a house of our own. But it's a house of our own. A house that meets our needs and more, in a safe neighborhood with good schools and convenience to amenities. It is good; I am blessed; my needs are met; with this may I be content.
The greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances. - Martha Washington
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