The Challenge of Choice

"Please pick up vanilla ice cream on your way home from work."  I was more than happy to oblige my wife's request- not only do I enjoy ice cream, I also knew exactly what she wanted, where it could be found, and had the financial means to obtain it- an unusual situation indeed.

Later that day, I confidently strode into the grocery store, found the appropriate aisle, and located the ice cream section with ease.  I perused the selections . . . and froze.*  There were 9 different kinds of vanilla ice cream, and that was just from one manufacturer.  Seriously, here were the options that were laid out before me:**

natural vanilla
french vanilla
extra creamy vanilla
homemade vanilla
creamy vanilla (half the fat)
creamy vanilla (fat free)
vanilla (no sugar added)
vanilla (carb smart)
lactose free vanilla

I was partially paralyzed; successfully stymied; unexpectedly undone.  Mouth agape, I now had a dilemma. Which would she want?  Like many, I had encountered the challenge of choice.

Most of us would say "the more choice, the better."  After all, the more options we have, the greater the probability of having one that will provide great personal enjoyment and satisfaction.  However, as I found in the above example, a plethora of products can instead be catalyst for conundrum.  I'm not the only one- several sites (examples here and here) posit the same- more choice can actually be worse.  Why?  How can this be?

Here's why: we seek the greatest possible enjoyment and satisfaction in all we do.  When presented with options, people will go one of two ways.  We want to either:

1) choose what will suit us the very best, or
2) experience as many things as we can.  

Both types of personalities can handle simple choices, like "do you want chocolate or vanilla?" or "shall we vacation to the mountains or beach?"  Choosing is easy- or experiencing both [at some point] isn't unrealistic.  But the more you break it down- the more options you present- the harder time you'll have either choosing or trying to experience it all.  That, in turn, will lead to confusion and stress.  "Which one will I like the most?  Which will satisfy the best?  How can I do it all?"

This problem perhaps always existed, but in recent years has become more evident.  A thousand years ago, you didn't have the options or variety we do now- you did what you could to survive, you ate what was provided, etc.  Today, we have a degree of affluence, variety, accessibility, awareness, and mobility that opens our eyes to what's out there- exponentially increasing our choices- and we struggle with the ramifications.

My wife (a type 1 from above) and I (a type 2) are good examples on how people deal differently with choice- and how either approach can cause problems.  My wife looked at over 30 colleges before deciding, and she agonized for months about it.  Why?  Because her "type 1" disposition dictated that she needed to choose the very best one for her, and the myriad similar options available made knowing the way difficult.  I, on the other hand, struggle with materialism.  I want to do it all- read it all, play all games, travel to all places, watch all movies- and being forced to choose just a handful, with so many options available to me, makes me feel as though I'm missing out on so much.  And, the more I do, the more I know how much is out there, and the more I feel like I'm missing.  In my wife's case, there's always the fear that the wrong choice was made.  The mine, I'm never satisfied.  Both are problematic, and come down to selfishness.

A Way Forward

How do we fight this situation?  How can we claim ever-elusive contentment in spite of our nature and option-obsessed culture?  There's really only one way:

Desire less.

The challenge of choice lies in the fact that we're self-centered beings who want the very best (or most).  If we fight that- and learn to be content with our lot- we may just find that 'good' is fine, and 'great' isn't necessary (or, more accurately, we'll find that 'good' is 'great' and pursuing 'great' is elusive and less satisfying).  Contentment must be learned and practiced- it doesn't come easily to us.  Here are some things that may help us desire less:

• Obtain and maintain proper perspective.
• We're blessed, plain and simple.  Doubt me?  Read history sometime.  Millions throughout the ages (and today) have endured so much more than we do- so much more pain, loss, desperation, or injustice.  Things aren't perfect now, and many still suffer, but chances are our struggles aren't as great as we make them out to be.
• Most choices we face are trivial.  Food, clothing, hobbies; these things don't matter very much.  "Just pick something that's not illegal, unethical, or unwise" seems to be reasonable advice in those cases. Choices that seem to matter much more- choosing a college, spouse, house, job, or state to live- can also be simpler than we make them out to be.  They're important, yes, but the world doesn't hinge on what we choose.  
• Deliberately limit your options.
• "Ignorance is bliss," as they say.  I've made my choices much harder than they need to be because of the Internet and the joys of Google.  There's a lot of good stuff out there; I won't get to experience it all; so don't bother looking.

There may be more tips, but the main goal is to desire less.  That's hard in a materialistic, choice-laden society . . . but not impossible.

*not literally; I hadn't opened the door yet.
**All Breyer's products- see here for the list.